I Knew You Were Trouble (Draco Malfoy)

Chapter 23

Empty. That's exactly how I felt at this exact moment. Lifeless, desolated, vacant of any emotions. The constant, dry feeling in my puffy red eyes made them throb painfully as my tear ducts ran out of fluid. For the past four days all I've done is cry. I cry because life has never been this hard before. I cry because my mother was killed. I cry because my baby was murdered inside of me and I couldn't do anything about it. I cry because no matter how much I try, I can't help but feel like it was my fault. I was the one who was blind. I was the one who couldn't see what was in front of me and most importantly, I was the one who fell in love with a death eater. 

Speaking of which, after I woke up he tried to put me in his room but I screamed and kicked, forcing them to place me in the guest room. Draco's been trying desperately for the past couple of days to get me to talk but I can't. My throat won't utter a sound and my mind won't give me a reason to do so. It's not like it'll make a difference. No one's ever listened to me before. No one cares. I don't care. 

My ears snapped up at the sound of my room door opening and closing. I sat on the bed with my knees against my chest, staring at the bed spread. It was a nice baby blue color. I tried to smile at Draco's consideration since he knew that it's my favorite color but I couldn't. The muscles around my mouth felt paralyzed. I felt movement around me as the person, most likely Draco, walked towards me and sat down on the bed. I didn't take my gaze off of the bed sheets as the person looked down at my worn but replenished face. All I've done is cry and sleep, which has kept me healthy enough after the....it's too painful to say. 

"Alice," Draco said my name and for the first time since I've been here, I looked up. His voice was desperate, pleading for a response. "Alice, my love please speak to me. I know you don't want to talk about it but you’re going to have to face your demons sooner or later." I remained speechless and he sighed. "At least eat something," he suggested as he lifted up a huge bowl filled with fresh peaches. This was my favorite type of fruit. Again I wanted to smile but found that I couldn't. 

My head felt light and my stomach pleaded annoyingly for food. I nodded barely and he almost choked in surprise. Once the feeling passed, he lifted the spoon and began to feed me like a small defenseless child. As he fed me, he tried to strike up a conversation. But he was smart enough to not bring up what happened a few nights ago. Instead he tried another approach. He spoke about himself. Which I was thankful for.

"You know, I haven’t spoken to my father since he broke out of Azkaban,” he told me and I just chewed quietly, though I listened. Glad to have my mind think about something other than...that. "At first he tried to come back into our lives and act the same way that he used to, all demanding and tough but my respect for him had decreased so much that I couldn't care less. Honestly, it's like he's not even here," he sighed. "You're the only reason I haven't gone completely mad," he finished, lightly and I nodded.

Once I was done he placed the now empty bowl of peaches on the food tray. Then he grabbed the glass of orange juice and passed it to me. I was still a bit weak but once I drank the cool liquid that streamed invitingly down my dry throat, I felt better. But being the clumsy person I am, when Draco went to retrieve it, it slipped from my frail fingers and drenched me. Draco jumped up to clean it but I didn't care. It was an accident. 

"I'm sorry." 

Draco's stopped what he was doing and looked over at me in shock. I hadn't used my voice in a while so it was a bit raspy and horse but it still sounded like me. A tad bit strained and distant but the same soft voice as before. Then Draco surprised me by smiling. 

"You’re truly adorable, you know that? You haven't said anything in days and when you finally do, you apologize for something that wasn't even partly your fault."  I smiled weakly remembering the times he would tell me to stop apologizing for stupid stuff. "Let's get you cleaned up."