FORMULA LOVE

Flight

It's been a whole 14 days since I'd seen the boys. A whole 14 days since Owen assaulted me. The morning after the fight he apologised profusely but then chucked it back on me. Which I understood where he was coming from - I shouldn't be speaking to the men that used to or still do like me.

It was time for the race in which my whole family had decided to come this time. Well I did plead for them to come, Owen was planning on coming too so I just wanted some people there so nothing happens.

"Hello, hello." Lewis says as he steps onto the plain with his sunglasses still on. I'd sat next to Owen and my brothers were opposite me. Lewis and his new girlfriend sat down opposite my parents.

"Hey Lewis how are you?" I asked him, trying to stir up conversation, Owens been watching me like a hawk - I needed to distract myself. "Yeah not bad at all."

I cut off a lot of contact from people during those two weeks. Mainly because it was summer and I didn't want people to see my stomach. It's more of a yellowy green colour now - not as bad as it was.

I felt his hand move from his lap to mine, slightly squeezing my inner thigh. As if in reflex I stood up immediately, my face becoming pale.

Quick Sadie think! Think of an excuse!

"Uhh, I need to ... err. Go to the bathroom." I say as I quickly hurry away. I was on the verge of tears. I hated him touching me, I don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. I sleep on the fucking sofa. I close the door to the bathroom and sit on the seat my legs to my chest trying to breath so I won't cry.

Loud banging noises are then heard from behind the door. I must be Owen. He can't see me upset. He can't see me crying from what he'd done. He can't.

I quickly stare at myself in the mirror, I hadn't been sleeping when I've been on the sofa. More like staring up at the ceiling longingly, wondering how my life ended up like this. I tucked my hair behind my ears a thousand times before flinging open the door. I expected a very tall, clean shaven - blonde man, except I found the opposite.

It was Lewis.

The breath I seemed to have been holding suddenly was let go and I flung into his arms, I wrapped my arms around his torso tightly as he mutters "Hey, hey what's wrong Sayd?" His voice was sincere, concerned. I blink the tears back, he knew I wanted to cry. So I buried my head in his chest once again. We was hidden behind a wall so that none of my family could see me in this mess.

I took me a while before I gathered myself when I cleared my throat and started to talk. I needed to get this off my chest, maybe he could help. My mouth shut as quickly as it opened when I saw the blonde haired man peer around the corner with his dark evil eyes. He saw my hands around Lewis and his curious demeanour quickly changed to anger, but he knew he couldn't punch me with my best friend here so he just simply but on a fake grin.

"Hey mate!" He said to Lewis, "Hey Sayd you okay? You think you can give me and Sadie 5 minutes." His tone was quite gentle, but to me it was like a lion waiting to pounce. My grip tightened, hoping Lewis would feel it. But I suppose I didn't clench hard enough when he stared back at me. "Is that okay Sadie?"

"Y-y-ye." I said to him, I don't think I totally won him over, however, he did comply and leave slowly, exchanging a concerned look at me and then Owen before leaving back behind the wall.

Owen changed like a light switch he marched over to me, steam looked like it was evaporating out of his ears. "What the fuck do you think your doing? Fucking slut." He quietly cursed at me. He hadn't grabbed my yet, but instead got in my face. I turned my head to the side staring at the bathroom I'd just come out of. I didn't dare look him in the eye or reply.

"TELL M-"

"Sadie? Are you okay darling?" My mums voice was raised over Owen's cutting him off. Another wash of relief went through me as I stepped back from Dugray and glanced at my mum, without him in my face. "Oh. Yeah. Fine." I said quietly, my voice was shaking as-well as my hands. My face must've been beetroot red as I just stood there, my abuser in the middle of me and my mum.

"Come then Sadie. I want to show you something." She says calmly but there was some sort of fury in her voice. I nodded and didn't look at Owen as I walked away. I knew his eyes were fixated on me, I could practically feel his stare as he walked closely behind me. "Peter can you swap with Sadie please, I need her to help me with something on my phone. You know me and technology. Not a good relationship." She laughs at her own words. Her laugh wasn't her usual laugh though, it was fake and more serious.

My dad complied and got up leading over to my old seat as Owen slowly sat down, still staring at me. His hands grazed over his jaw. He was pissed off. This was his coping mechanism, trying not to have an outburst of fury that would last no more than a few hours. As my dad sat down he exchanged a small fake smile that was plastered into his face. Eyes still fixed on me. I spun around to turn to my mother who's eyes were also on mine.

She took out her phone very slowly and handed it to me face down. I then took it and turned it towards me, the brightness was low so no one else could see. She was on the "notes" app. I'm big bold handwriting she had written:

ARE YOU OKAY? IS THERE SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW?

She started talking me as though we was having a normal conversation over her phone. Then as I was reading the two sentences over and over again she nudged me, signalling I needed to carry on the conversation.

"Right so you press this, then this will take you to the link in which it should lead you to your free coupon." I said, I had no fucking clue what I was going on about. My mother said thank you and I stared from the corner of my eye to see Owen was no longer watching me.

I took my chance to write back to my mum secretly:

No. I'm fine.

The typical like everyone that is not fine uses.

I was practically beating myself up over it in my head. I wanted to tell my mother so bad, but something was stopping me. I can't tell her, she can't  know what is actually going on in my life. She'll beat herself up about it too if I told her. And besides mum would've kicked off on the plane.

She look at my message and turns to me giving my arm a squeeze with a smile not quite reaching her eyes. Which then she looses as she begins to stare at someone with beady eyes, a furious look on her face.

I would imagine that's towards Dugray. But I brush it off.