FORMULA LOVE

The drive home

"Sadie what the fuck was all that about!"

"Making Leclerc feel humiliated for the first time in his life. Just how he made me." I say to Hamilton. My blood is boiling still, I can't stop my legs from shaking. I knew I did a risky and reputation-destroying thing but he pushed me to it. With all that happened, as well as that "I've never spoke to her" fiasco, it tipped me over the edge. I mean I could have done worse. I think.

"What happened that night Sayd." He suddenly asks, memories of that night at the party rush to me all at once. The kiss we shared, the skin to skin touch, Carlos interrupting. And then Leclerc hurting me so bad I had to call his best friend Lando. A.K.A the other guy I have a thing for. I shake the memories away from my vision. "We'll if you must know Lewis, time and time again he's pushed me away and acted like he doesn't care about me. Then other times he acts like he's nearly in love with me. At that party when you was ... somewhere... he started kissing me then switched on me so fast. He told me he just wanted to fuck me Lewis! And nothing else." Water brims in my eyes as I stutter out that sentence. My knees are pulled to my chest and I stare out the window.

"As your best friend, I was never ever keen on him. Not when he was starting at formula one and not when he started getting to know you. The truth is Sayd he thinks he's better than he is just because he's a race car driver. All the racers think that, sometimes I even find myself thinking that." He sighs whilst scratching his neck with one hand and the other on the wheel. "But I mean come on now, you could have punched him harder than that, I know you can. There's barely a mark on your fist." Lewis laughs to himself and so do I wiping my eyes. The conversation dies down after a while. "Massive" by Drake was playing in the car as we drive back to the hotel for the last night.

I bring myself back to what he had just said. "You could have punched him harder than that, I know you can." Them words all of a sudden hit me. Maybe he was right. I glance down at my right hand and notice there's little to no mark there, I probably won't even have to ice my hand. There's no cut from the force in any way shape or form. The truth is I don't think I did want to hit him hard, or even at all. There was a big part of me telling myself not to, I knew that I was worth more than what he made me out to be. So of course I retaliated. There's still a big part of me that is so caring towards Charles. I know full well it's a lie now but I've obviously become too attached. Thanks for that Charles.

An incoming call shows up on the screen at the dashboard of the car. Shit. It says mum is calling. Lewis looks at me with a worried look, I'm just as worried as him but I manage to muster up a small smile and nod. He takes his time in answering the call and I'm met with lots of swearing coming from mums mouth. "Fucking hell Mercedes Luna Brando. What the fuck was you thinking punching that man! Live on fucking air might I add."

Even Lewis didn't know my full name. He glanced at me like I'd told him the Queen was his mother or something. It was obviously a talk for later on so I waved him off and mouthed that I'd tell him later.

"SADIE?!? Are you still on the line?"

"Ye- Yep still here mum. Look you don't know the whole story and I'm sorry you've had to witness that. But can yo-" andddd she interrupts as per usual. She never hears anyone out, she never even heard the doctors out about her own son being diagnosed with cancer. For weeks she brushed it off and said they was lying. Until he collapsed at home and she had to face facts. Without a drastic action you can never change her opinion ... AT ALL.

"No young lady, this is your future that's now on the line here. I don't care if-" I slam the end call button on the dashboard so fast I didn't hear the last of her sentence. And I wasn't going to. I do feel bad but this woman needs to chill out. My phone beeps and I pick it up whilst Lewis goes on about how good I was at handling the situation and talking about my real first name.I see that I got a message from iMessages.

"Heard the whole call. Gowan girl!" Jamie writes to me. A big smile spreads across my face. Whenever me and mum argue, which is a lot he always takes my side apart from the time I wanted Mcdonalds but everyone else wanted Dominoes. Betrayer! I message him back with a few laughing emojis. In my inbox Ellie had messaged me too about 10 minutes ago. I'd say that was about a few minutes after the whole thing had happened and been on TV.

"You are a total saint. I love you with all my heart. Please tell me you've fractured his jaw or something."

This also makes me smile even harder and reply to her saying "Hope so! I'll try see you Tuesday! Xx"

I hadn't had a chance to chat to her these past few days, but she knows I'd never punch someone for no reason. She knows he's fucked up. And I mean REALLY fucked up.