OFF TRACK

17

SUMMER

"Ellie?" I ask coming out of my room for the first time in hours. I had been trying to do homework but I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I saw Trevor. It's been a week and I miss his touch, his smell, his taste, him. I just want to be around him. Oh my god, who am I becoming?

She's laying on the couch with Alex, they've been binge watching some TV show all day. I can hear the show and them laughing from my room.

"Huh?" she pauses the TV and gives me all her attention.

"Alex cover your ears, I don't want you to hear this," I look at him.

"I have to use the bathroom anyway," he gets off the couch, leaving the two of us alone. I sit down on the far end of the couch, away from her.

"What is it?" she asks when I don't say anything.

"Uhm," I'm trying to find the right words but I don't have them because I don't even fully know what I'm thinking. "Ya know what?" I stand up, "Nevermind."

"Summer, sit down," Ellie says sternly.

And I do.

"Is it about the boy you've been seeing?"

"What?" I snap my head towards her and my eyes go wide.

"I'm not stupid, Summer!" Ellie laughs, "You've been sneaking in and out of the house late at night. I also keep catching you smiling at your phone. Oh! And the hickey! Tell me about him."

I sigh knowing there's no use in hiding it anymore.

"He's really sweet, and caring and hot, so hot. And so so patient, sometimes it drive me crazy," I push my fingers through my hair, "When I told him I didn't want any thing serious he was so understanding. But now it's been a few months of us just casually but exclusively hooking up and I think I want more. I mean we're almost there but I'm scared that if we put the label on it he'll become just another thing on my to do list and he doesn't deserves that."

I slide down on the couch, "God, I don't deserve him. He needs someone who can give him her all and I can't do that right now."

"But it sounds like you've been doing it for the past few months," Ellie points out.

"I guess but-"

"No but, Summer, if you want this boy go get him!" Ellie smiles, "Go tell him how you feel."

"But-"

"Stop thinking and just go!" She picks up one of our decorative pillows and throws it at me.

"Okay," I laugh, throwing the pillow back at her. I stand up from the couch, then look over at her, "Should I dress up?"

"Nah your boobs look good in that bra," Ellie looks right at my chest. I'm wearing a black sports bra and leggings with an oversized zip up jacket that's only half way zipped up. "You've got me questioning things."

"Hey!" Alex comes back into the room right as she says that.

"Oh you know I'd never leave you, baby!" Ellie smiles opening her arms for him.

"You two make me sick," I roll my eyes and start out of the room.

"This will be you soon!" Ellie teases. I roll my eyes and head back to my room.

I decide to throw on a different, more full coverage crewneck, because if I don't he'll get distracted and then I'll get distracted and we won't actually talk.

Next thing I know I'm sliding on my shoes and driving across town to Trevor's apartment.

James answers the door and says he's not sure if Trevor's home or not, but let's me in anyway. So I knock on his bedroom door hoping he's home.