I Love You So (Erwin Smith x Fem! Reader)

Chapter LXVI - Big Argument

{Long Chapter Ahead - 4,590 words}

Y/n can't remember any longer since when was the last time she felt heavy around Erwin. She can't recall when was the last time she felt like there's a wall between them. Just like tonight,

Even when they're facing each other, when she's supposed to feel home and relieved around him, but instead she feels hurt. The silence between them feels like it'll eat them up any moment and the heavy feeling both of them are feeling feels like it'll snap them.

Y/n can't help but feel diaappointed, she wasn't hoping for this kind of alone time with Erwi now that their mission to overthrow the government is done. She missed him so much, she yearned to see and touch her man, but now that they're finallh reunited...

All she can feel is heaviness.

All she's feeling is extreme anxiety.

Uneasiness, fear, pain and sadness.

There's not a slight happiness at all.

"What were you thinking, Y/n...?" Erwin spoke, finally breaking the deafening silence between him and the h/c-haired woman. He has his blue-eyes staring coldly at his love.

Fist clenched tightly beside him, broad chest heaving up and down as he tries his best to remain calmed.

"You joined the mission when you know it could put you and our child in danger? Just what...were you thinking?" Erwin spoke once again.

Y/n kept her stare at the ground, hands resting on her sides and fists clenched tightly. She knows well she has a big fault in this, she was stupid to decide to join their mission when she should be resting since she has a child growing inside her womb. But she couldn't stand by, stay back and let her comrades fight on their own.

Also, she wanted to make sure...

That everyone will succeed, and Erwin will win from his gamble.

"What would we do...if we lost our child? Tell me, Y/n. What can we even do if its already too late?" Erwin shut his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, brows creasing as he does so.

Y/n kept a dull face, not because she just wants to, but because she doesn't want to cry. She's been crying since her father's death, even if she has more tears to shed, she's already fed up from letting herself breakdown.

"Why aren't talking to me, Y/n? At this point, we won't be able to settle things between us. At least say something----"

"Erwin, let's leave the survey corps."

Erwin's brows shot-up, blue-eyed went round as he sees tears coming out from Y/n's eyes. The h/c-haired woman was wrong. Even if she is already tired from crying, she still...

Break into tears.

"What...?"

Y/n looked up at Erwin.

E/c-eyes glossed with tears, lips trembling, and cheeks now soaked with her own salty tears.

"I...I want to leave the survey corps with you, Erwin." The blond-man was taken aback, Y/n held his hand and squeezed it with her trembling hands.

"Y/n, what are you..."

"I can't take it anymore!"

Erwin went silent the moment Y/n raises her voice. The female captain looked down. "We keep losing people we love...its never ending...lets just leave before its our turn...leave with me, Erwin...I don't want you to go..."

The blond-man wasn't able to say anything, he just stared at Y/n with a shocked look. "I'm scared, Erwin. That you'll leave me, too. I can't sleep at night in peace, I always have a dream of you dying. I can't take it anymore... I can't keep thinking of you dying, I don't want to dream of you dying..."