Buffy the Vampire Slayer Preferences + imagines/one shots

Spike Imagine - Ghosting

Set in season 5.

I'm a ticking time bomb. When will I strike? When will I snap and turn on my friends? It's inevitable, isn't it? 

It's not, but I don't think they understand that.

I've been a vampire for three weeks now. The whole event was a freak accident - we were unlucky, we were overwhelmed.

Nobody has the heart to stake me, and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but they all act like I'm a monster. Buffy barely talks to me, Dawn's stopped hanging out with me, Willow and Xander won't meet my eyes. It's a pain I've never felt. 

The only person who treats me no different is Spike. Spike, the vampire that I've come to know as a friend, is the singular person I can talk to without feeling like a mess. He's been through things I can't even begin to imagine so he understands. He's patient and he understands. 

So, I'm packing my bag, and I'm leaving tonight before I lose my courage. If they're going to treat me like a ghost - looking right through me, treading on eggshells around me - why should I put up with it? I'm a ghost out of her grave but I'm not the only one in Sunnydale. 

I love all the gang more than anything, but this is the right thing to do... I hope. I've faded into the background and the only way to regain some colour is to start again with someone who actually cares about me.

I take one last, long look at the Summers' residence. Maybe if Joyce was here, I'd have the strength to stay. But this is what I have decided - I'm going to haunt someone who isn't afraid of ghosts. I clench my jaw and turn my back on what was home.

"Took you long enough." Spike rolls his eyes as soon as I step into his crypt and let my heavy backpack drop to the ground.

"You know?"

"Of course, I know, pet. Those gits have been treating you like shit - I knew you'd come to your senses and leave sooner or later."

I drag my hands down my face and scowl. "Fuck, Spike. I have no idea what I'm going to do," my voice breaks pathetically on the last word, and I fight to hold back the impending tears.  

"Hey, you're going to be okay. If anything, you got me." he smiles goofily, and I break out in a choked laugh.

"Thanks for having my back." I say, sitting down on the edge of Spike's bed. I run my hands over the soft blanket, drawing pointless patterns on the material.

"Hey, of course," he then says more seriously, "You're the only one who treats me like anything more than a piece of gum stuck to a shoe."

I laugh humourlessly, "Good thing we've got each other then. It would be pretty lonely spreading the rest of eternity alone, wouldn't it?" I hesitate for a second, worrying I may have misread the mood. What if Spike doesn't want me around? Sure, we're close, but forever is one hell of a commitment. 

"It would." We lock eyes and he smiles sincerely. I return the smile and flop back onto his bed. Maybe this won't be so bad.