Tuck

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She's staring at us like we lost our damn mind. Maybe we have. I don't know if I can do this. I'm possessive and yea I'm a jealous mother fucker.
I don't think I can share her. I would want her just for me and me alone.
I can't fathom why these guys would even want to share her in the first place.
To know that another man is touching what's mine. Fucking what's mine. Loving what's mine. I couldn't deal with that.

Wait...love? Nah that even in the equation. There's no way I will allow myself to love her. I won't and can't have feelings for her. I know In my gut that Candance is with Chuck. It's what she's always wanted. Not me. I was a game to her. A ploy.

I should of just let her go a long time ago. But I couldn't. Blame it on me being selfish. Wanting to be the one to win or whatever but I just held on. Like a damn fool. So no, I couldn't love her. I will not give her my heart. I will not give anyone my heart. Never again.

"Are you crazy? Why...why...how would that even work?" She's all flustered and it's kind of cute. The shock on her face is comical.

"I don't think that  is a good idea. I mean, come on. First,how would it work? Second, what about jealousy or loyalty? I mean I don't want to be the cause of either of you, fighting or getting mad at each other and Julian how do you even know if the others even want me? Or would go along with this? It's...it's insane!" She looks at us all and storms out the house.

"Well that went well," Jax exclaims "could of went a lot better. Now how do we convince her?" He puts his plate in the sink with a sigh rubbing his hand down his face. He really likes her. He's been on her since day one. I just don't get it.

"I don't know, but I do know that my feelings for her are not going to change, even if she agrees or not. I'm still going to find a way into her life. I will fight for her. She....she means a lot me." At Julian's announcement we all looked a bit shocked. Does he love her? I mean it's too soon. Right? How can he have feelings for her, this soon? I've heard about love at first sight but I have yet to know anyone who's experienced it. I know he slept with her, but love her?

"Do you love her, Julian?" I just don't get it.
"Yea you know what, I do. I love her. I know it may seem to soon or whatever, but she's a stunning, beautiful, and thoughtful woman who has swept me off my feet. So yea I lover her." Wow ok then. I'm confused.

"Then how can you share her? I know if I loved her, I damn sure wouldn't want to share her! That's not love. That's just lust. Plain and simple brother." He jumps up off the stool mad as hell. Looks me dead in the eye. I've never seen him so mad.

"DONT JUDGE ME! If I have just a minuscule amount of love from her then that's enough for me. I don't do jealousy! I just love," he calms a bit sits back down. "besides I want her happy and if that's what makes her happy, then I'll do it! ITS NOT LUST!" Everybody goes quite. I'm looking at this fool like he has lost his damn mind. He's gone off the deep end.

"What the hell,Julian?" "Love? LOVE? You've got to be kidding me? You know damn well if you loved her you couldn't share her! Be a man! Does she even love you? Don't you care that she'll have other guys dicks in her! Fucking her? Making her scream their name and not yours?!"
Catching my breath I look at him and in all my anger I said the words I will forever regret.

"All you want to do is turn her into your damn whore! Making her cum on other guys dicks why you watch and it breaks your heart that it's not you! She would be nothing but a cunt ass slut!!" "Is that what you want? For her to get you in her grasp and laugh behind your back, cause she's getting away with fucking all your friends! Loving how she's made a damn fool of you?! I will never share a stinking ass cunt!!" I take a breath I'm angry so angry. How could he fall for this? "You want to play her willing victim? You want be her pussy?! Why? Why would you fall for that? Why would you fall for a fucking easy lay, that would spread her legs for anybody?!"  I hear a gasp and know I just fucked up. I turn and see Kyra in the doorway. Knowing she heard everything. Tears streaming down her     face. I could kick myself. I turn away from her not being able to look her in the eye. When I see a fist flying right at me. Knocks me me on my ass. Damn! I deserved that. But shit it hurts. I jump up to fight Julian but it's not him that slammed me. It's Damon. Wtf?

"You ever say another word like that about her and I'll fucking kill you! You hear me Tuck. One. Fucking. Word!" I didn't expect that. "Just leave! Get the fuck out! NOW!!" I rub my jaw and look around. Julian looks heartbroken. Jax is holding Kyra now while she cries and Damon's facing me breathing heavy ready for a face off. Pissed as hell.

I turn on my heel and leave outside. I'm pissed at them, but now I'm pissed at myself more. Why did I say anything? Why do I even care? Let them share her. It's none of my damn business. I won't have anything  to do with it. I don't want her. Don't need her. Don't care.

Then why is bothering me so bad?

I hear footsteps behind me I turn and see Jax. Solemn expression on his face. I really don't feel like talking right now. I start to walk off then he speaks. Sighing beforehand I brace myself for the speech. I turn to him.

"You made her cry dude. She's been with one man. How does that make her a slut? A whore? She didn't even agree to it and just because Julian claims he loves her. You fly off like damn jackass and made her cry! Does it make you feel better,Tuck?"
He coughs. I'm getting pissed again. I walk up to him about to lash out but holds up his hands.

"No Tuck, you're lying to yourself. You like her. Deep down you know that. You feel that. You do or you wouldn't have gotten so damn upset." He points his finger at me "It bothers you and you know it! You want her just as much as we do but you're a coward not to admit it. She's gotten under your skin and it's getting to you." Letting out a sigh he continues "Look Tuck I understand you more than you know. Yea you don't want to share. You don't think you can share her. But if you don't get your head out of ass you're going to missing out on the best thing of your life." And with that he walks off.

No. I don't agree. The best thing would be a honest faithful woman. Who just wanted me and no one else. Not someone I had to share. To me that isn't normal. It's ridiculous.

I stay outside till the sun starts going down. Exasperated I head back in. This day has been shit. My jaw hurts. I'm tired. I need a shower and bed.

As I walk into the open area I see all of them on the couch watching a movie. Looks like Halloween the first one. They have it way up loud. Kyra turns to me "dinners on the island, if your hungry." And turns around to continue to watch the movie.

I just walk off headed for a shower and then bed. Not caring to eat. On my way I hear Damon say don't worry about spitfire, we got you.

Yea they do. But she will never have me. That's for damn sure.

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