~Danganronpa oneshots~

Memories ||soudam||

ART NOT MINE^^^

A Soudam oneshot, because I only just realised I like the ship!! Heavily based off of the song: memories -Conan gray

NON DESPAIR AU, they still went to hopes peak academy though.

||POV: kazuichi||

Late into the night, a loud rap on my door wakes me up, practically shaking my whole house. Rain patters on the windows softly and my headphones are still plugged into my phone, now sprawled across my bed from my movement in my sleep. Groggily rubbing my eyes, I sigh, yawning loudly. My foot slides off my bed, hitting the floor with a soft thud upon impact.

I fight through the mess of broken machines, pulled apart inventions and cans on the floor -results of my latest experiment, of course- and stumble down the stairs. Tripping on the last step, I grab something in the dark, frantically trying to stop my inevitable fall. My hand grasps a soft fabric, and I end up successfully catching myself, thank god.

I look up, praying I didn't break my curtains (again), and my breath hitches in my throat for a second. A scarf. Gundham's scarf.

A sad smile etches it's way onto my face and my shoulders tense slightly. Shakily, I reach my hand up and take the item from the hook it stands proudly on, very careful to not rip the fabric. Small holes from his hamsters remain as a permanent reminder of their existence in the scarf, and a pink thread catches my eye.

I follow it through to it's starting point and my eyes widen, threatening to....sweat...because, why would I cry, hah! Perfectly embroidered by a very steady hand are the letters 'K.S', with a small heart in place of the dot between them. My eyes start to profusely sweat and my breath wavers, I desperately try to steady it and remember the door. Frantically scrambling to my feet, the sudden speed ceasing-stopping my crying, I answer the door.

In front of me, a mess, the one and only stands. His hair sodden from the rain, dripping onto my doormat. His neck looks weird, because he's wearing a blue scarf instead of his signature purple. I don't like the change. His bandages are darker in spots, whether that be from sweat or rain I'm not sure. Dangling from ears in place of the earrings I made him are two small crystals, amethyst and rose quarts, I think. They're some of the only ones I learned. He stumbles in, shaking from the rain. And falls into my arms.

Instinctively, I wrap my arms protectively around him and try to warm him up, still tightly gripping his scarf. He settles into the touch for a second before quickly pulling away and straightening his clothes, like I messed them up or something. My eyes sting with tears- sweat, and I swallow down the lump in my throat at his actions. A pathetic excuse for a greeting rises from my throat, my voice wavering, cracked and weak.

"...hi."
"Hello."

Tearily, I laugh in spite of myself. Not even a 'mortal'? Damn. He doesn't even comment on my laugh, just looks at me, unimpressed. The devas pop out of his new scarf and I smile, greeting them. Cham-P squeals in delight, but the others are hesitant and look upset- even angry at me. They look hurt too, and like they want to throw themselves at me to be hugged, if I'm being completely honest. A booming voice interrupts the interaction between me and the devas. "I have come to collect my things. That is all."

What?! Confused, I look up at Gundham. "I-it was supposed to be a break, w-what do you need? Some more underwear?" I laugh unconvincingly, attempting to humour the situation and stop him taking his things. If he takes them, he's gone. Forever. I cant loose him forever. Please don't leave me.

"I need my things. I will be taking them now." He states, walking up the stairs that are so familiar to him, both of us. The stairs we walked up after our first date, where we cuddled after. The stairs we stupidly stumbled up after dancing in the rain, the stairs that hold so many memories. So many loveable moments and happy endings stored away in the wood, forever trapped now, unwilling to resurface, it seems.

I'm left with Cham-P, my favourite of the devas, and Gundham's scarf. Gundham's familiar scent dancing around still, and boot marks trailing from the door to upstairs. I walk into the living room and sit on the sofa, not letting any emotions overcome me in fear that he'll see me. I want nothing more than for him to see me, for him to hold me and comfort me, but the harsh reality is that now he probably wouldn't even care, let alone hug me or calm me.

I scratch Cham-P's ear and stroke his shiny fur, a single droplet of water falls from my eye and dampens his hair. I ignore it and so does he. He understands. I think. I hear gundham moving around upstairs and sigh, my head moves back and hits the backing of the sofa. The sofa we picked out. Together.

Everything was so perfect, I loved- love him, so much. We had so many plans, a future together. Now, there's no point in denying it. I love him with my whole heart, he's my person and in my mind he always will be. Nothing will ever change that. Ever. Cham-P crawls up my arm and buries himself into the crook of my neck, nuzzling me. I smile, a very watered down smile at that, but still a smile, and stroke him again.

Eventually, Gundham comes downstairs with his things, and walks over to me, wordlessly holding his hand out. I kiss Cham-P on the head and hand him over, whispering a goodbye with the small voice left inside me. Gundham's hand doesn't move. Questioningly, I look at him, before registering that my hand is still gripping his scarf.

No, please no. Don't make me.

His hand lingers and I grip the scarf tighter, not willing to let go of the last comfort I have. The little bit of him I have left, the little bit that reminds me he loved me, no matter what, at least at some point. I don't want to let go. Please, don't make me. Please.

Wordlessly I plead with him until, eventually I give in, handing over the fabric....a choked sob leaving my throat in the process.

Hot, salty tears start to stream and flow freely from my eyes and choked cries effortlessly erupt from my throat. I try stifling them to no avail and he looks at me. He pities me. A river of emotions flow through my body and the only word I can say is, "out." He gets the message.

He starts to leave and I hear the front door open. Quickly, I jump to my feet. I race to the door and reach it just in time, stopping him before he goes. "..one last time?" I ask, hope spreading throughout my body. "One last time." He confirms.

He lifts my chin up and plants a soft kiss on my lips, a few stray tears falling from his eyes and mixing with my smudged eyeliner and the pools of water on my cheeks. Our foreheads press together. "Good luck, Tanaka." I sigh, another watery, sad smile fighting it's way onto my face.

He pulls away without speaking and the last thing I see before the darkness swallows him is Cham-P, looking over his shoulder, and a small paw, waving me goodbye. And then, I'm sucked back into despair, merging with the darkness of the outside world, but this time, I'm alone.

_________
Sorry, this got a little bad at the end...

1318 words, TYSM for reading <3

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