STAND BY ME | DRACO MALFOY

23. feelings

STAND BY ME | FEELINGS
February 5,
1995

"Well— I heard Malfoy totally flipped on one of his own housemates earlier today,"

"Oh yeah! I heard about that too.. I thought Klines said that he pushed them down the stairs—"

"Merlin— the stairs?! Malfoy and his anger issues, I doubt he even got punished for it—"

"Can you guys please shut up!" Vivian nearly hissed from where she was angrily scribbling in her bed.

There was an awkward pause of silence, not that Vivian cared.

"Er—okay.. sure?" Hannah squeaked uncomfortably after a second or two before hopping off of Adya's bed and moving to her own instead.

Vivian huffed as she watched her dorm mates shuffle about. She felt bad for snapping, it wasn't exactly their fault Draco Malfoy was such a dick. But Vivian couldn't bring herself to care all that much about who was really to blame for the way she was feeling, all she knew was that if she had to hear his name come out of anyones mouth any time soon, she would be sure to hex herself right into madness.

No one knew that, of course, so everyone who had the misfortune of being around Vivian in her particularly bad moods were left utterly surprised by how quickly she would snap at them for seemingly minor things— if only they could read her mind, maybe then they would find themselves just steering clear and leaving her alone for awhile.. but as far as Vivian knew, no one her age or at Hogwarts in general was particularly gifted in Legilimency.. So no such luck..

The worst part of all of it was, Vivian couldn't even describe what she was feeling even if she wanted to. It was so complex, so surprising, so conflicting that she could hardly focus on anything other than the hollow feeling in her chest. Even when she knew that that wasn't healthy.

Vivian had not anticipated that her and Draco Malfoy would ever be anything more than sworn enemy's, she couldn't have imagined them being anything else until a few months ago..

But, now that she had in fact experienced what it could be like between them without the barrier of hatred in their way, she desperately hated that it was now back. The glass wall between them had been replaced with the similar distaste there had once been, although now it was even more complex than just that.

Not that you would ever be able to tell, because not only were Vivian and Draco no longer sneaking off to hang about the castle and snog every chance they got, but they were also now not speaking to each other at all.

Before, when there was no acknowledgment of the sexual tension between them, Vivian and Draco had still been quite a bit of each others lives, between the petty bickering and the endless arguments, they ended up in some sort of contact with each other quite a bit..

But now— there was nothing. No ruthless insults that undoubtedly led to screaming matches, no subtle hex's thrown across the great hall. And it wasn't even Vivian's fault. Draco had gone completely Radio silent, (if he actually knew what a radio was) and Vivian wasn't desperate enough to reach out herself, even if it was to just cause a simple argument, to trip him up on the stairs or something that would've happened before anything happened.

Because if Vivian were to do that.. then it would definitely signify that things were reverting back to the way they originally were, the way the had always been, and everything that had happened between Vivian and Draco over the past month or So would've never happened at all.. it would go completely unacknowledged and maybe even forgotten.. and no matter how badly Vivian really hated Draco right now, she wouldn't let that happen. She just wouldn't.