Before the Dawn

Chapter Ten

I open and close my mouth mutely like a gaping fish out of water. My features register bewilderment and horror. Declan just stands there waiting for my answer, mouth pinched into a hard line.

"I. . . How did you find that?" I stutter nervously. I clasp my damp palms together in front of me, fiddling with my fingers uncomfortably.

Declan's frown deepens and his eyes narrow slightly. "It fell out of the book that was sitting on our bed," he says sourly, the journal still clutched tightly in his fist.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He stays like that for a few heart beats, anger rolling off of him in waves.

My heart shudders in my chest in fear of having upset its love. Regret wiggles its way into my mind. I shouldn't have read those journals about my time with Theo. I gaze at my warrior imploringly, wishing that he would drop that damn journal and pull me into his arms. That doesn't happen though.

Declan opens his eyes and pierces me with his intense gaze. "Why the hell are you reading these?" he nearly growls, not once breaking eye contact.

I step down off of the stairs slowly, buying my self some time. I don't want to fight with him. I'm only just beginning to remember our time together, I don't want to lose him.

"I just wanted to remember," I whisper, casting my eyes down to the ground.

"Remember what? Bel? Is he really that important to you? Does my love for you mean nothing?" Anger flares in my warrior's eyes. Beneath that, though, lies hurt. My heart breaks at the knowledge that I did that to him.

My eyes widen at his accusation. I move towards him quickly, resting a comforting hand on his broad shoulder. Declan shrugs it off, too upset to accept my comfort. Feeling a bit hurt myself, I take me hand away and clasp it with my other hand again.

"Of course it does. Your love means everything to me, Declan," I argue, offended that he'd question my love for him. "Theo means nothing to me, you know that."

"Do I?" Declan interrupts. "How do I know that you're over him? How do I knew that you're not obsessed with your past with him?"

I see jealousy rear its ugly head within Declan. He hates that Theo got to me first. Despite my knowledge of this, anger wedges itself into my heart. How dare he accuse me of that?

"Why would you say something like that? He's killed people, Declan, innocent people! Nearly all of the Gods are dying because of him and you're accusing me of being obsessed with him?" Offended, I cross my arms across my chest with a scowl planted firmly upon my face.

Declan's frown deepens, his sour mood unrelenting. "Why else would you read this? Gods, Thanatos, it's about your relationship with him!"

I shake my head angrily though I know how bad it sounds.

"All I wanted was to remember my past, Declan. That's all."

With a grunt, Declan walks swiftly up to me and takes me by my shoulders, giving me a quick shake.

"Then why didn't you just come to me? I can tell you everything of our past," his bad mood doesn't lessen, but confusion sneaks its way into his tone.

His hands drop from my shoulders. I frown but don't protest.

"Because I wanted to remember it myself, in my own point of view. I wanted to remember my entire past. You wouldn't have been able to tell me that," I try to explain to him.

He lets out a bitter, humorless chuckle, a dry half smile on his lips. "You mean I couldn't tell you about your time with Bel," he mutters, shaking his head. "You know, what hurts the most is that you kept this from me."