Chapter 20: Close yet so Distant

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Credit to the original artist

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A couple of days had passed since Mythra and me had that day where we spent some time together by completing some errands that I had to do.

We, fortunately, also solved the bed issue but things were getting weird. Not uncomfortable but they started to get weird.
For example, the first night we spent together sleeping on the same bed, I managed to meet Mythra's bad sleeping behavior.

I didn't know Mythra was such a bad sleeper but oh my, she just was terrible.
I still had problems sleeping in the same bed with her but that will hopefully end in the near future.

Every day, I have been waking up with Mythra spooning me and just hugging me.
It wasn't uncomfortable but it was weird that well, every day was the same story. She still didn't know about that.

However, I didn't want to bring the issue, because that would just make the environment awkward.
Mythra would perhaps feel insecure and I would be at fault if she couldn't rest properly.
Also, it was crystal clear to me that Mythra trusted in me, so telling her would imply that I wasn't feeling comfortable around her and  probably would lead to bad situations.

How did I feel?
I was feeling confused.

The sensation felt very familiar, but I didn't remember that I had similar experiences.
The gaps in my memory were blocking me from finding the answer to such bother.

If I put that issue aside, it felt good to experience that. Just thinking that waking up every day with her hugging me was a nice detail I secretly cherished. I even embraced such moments for 10 minutes before leaving the bed and starting the new day.

However, I had to remind myself that the relationship I had with Mythra would had to end soon.
I had to walk a different path and I wasn't going to include her. I wasn't fond of the idea of dragging her into my mess and my responsibility of taking care of Azra.

What was currently happening to the world was my fault, and I was the one that had to take responsibility and fix it; dragging someone else was just very selfish.

Mythra had suffered enough by my side. That day we returned from the Hato mission, it was evident that she had been tortured by her regrets.

Unfortunately, my core crystal had the power to project in the real life the wielder's deepest and concealed emotions.
I had been tortured and followed by my life regrets for an eternity. I simply got used to that, but I wasn't aware that sharing my power could make the other entity go through similar experiences.

The moment I saw Mythra paralyzed in her place and then I looked at her terrified face, that was the moment I realized that I fucked up.
I immediately recognized the emotions projected through her facial expressions, those were the emotions of someone afraid of facing their regrets.
She had been with me for too long... If that kept happening, things would get worse for sure.

However... The situation was very tricky.
I planned to start distancing myself, but that would also be selfish from me. For some reason, destiny just kept us together. I just hoped it was for a defined short period of time...
Additionally, I saw that Mythra was having a good time; she was smiling and laughing, something I did really cherish.

So, I settled on keep sharing moments together while I was in Tantal but keeping some distance.
However... I originally had in mind that I would disappear without much of a trace when the day of my departure arrived. But... That wasn't the right thing to do.
At this point, I have shared with Mythra a good amount of experiences and time, so the best course of action was to tell her some days before I had to leave Tantal.

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