Luke.
The ride home was just as bad as we expected.
The two of them cried their eyes out, continuously saying "I care about you more than the average amount" and they would laugh over it, and then immediately go back into crying.
To say the least, I think both Harry and I could've cried with them.
We soon walked them inside, seeing Austin's mom crying immediately at the sight of them.
They made a group hug.
And we let them sleep together.
We gave them complete privacy.
They knew where the nurses button was if they needed anything
But we wanted nothing more but for them to spend their possibly last night together
Montana
I laid my head on his bare chest, feeling him rub the skin on my bare back.
I kissed his lips once more, feeling him smile.
"So can we get married in Tennessee once I'm back?" He asked me.
"Of course." I laughed back to him.
"I'm sorry that we have to cancel our trip-" "don't be sorry, we'll be able to take an even better one later, because we will both be cancer free." I told him, feeling him rub my back.
"You're right, baby."
We didn't sleep at all.
We either laid in silence
Talked to each other
Or just held each other as closely as we could.
And before I knew it, our alarm was going off, making me immediately want to cry.
We got up, putting all of our clothes on.
He then proceeded to spend a few hours with his mom, which he needed to do.
I sat with Luke, Calum and Harry, holding myself together to the best of my ability.
And soon, it was time.
We were all in his room with him, he asked me to sit in his bed with him until he was put to sleep, so I did.
I held his hand firmly.
He told him mom that he loved her, receiving multiple hugs and forehead kisses from her.
Then he looked to me.
"Oh montana" he said his usual quote, making me laugh through a quote
"I lov-" "don't say it" he cut me off quickly
"Save me that for when I wake up." He smiled.
I nodded, squeezing his hand.
"I care about you a lot more than the average care" I said our long ass, cheesy way of saying that we loved each other.
I saw him wince as he got the IV put in his arm.
And he held his mom and my own hand tightly.
I continuously kissed his knuckles.
"Okay boss man" Harry exhaled.
"Whenever you're ready."
Austin let go of his moms hand, making Harry hug him tightly before holding his moms hand again and nodding.
"Okay girls after I give him the medicine, you guys just have to leave for a few minutes, just for us to get him on the machine and ready." We both nodded at Harry's instructions.
"I'll see you two soon" he smiled to us.
I kissed him once more, seeing him smile before nodding to Harry
"I love you mom" he spoke quickly
"Montana" he smiled, I heard his speech immediately slurring
"I care about you more than the average-" he mumbled it out, cutting himself off
And then his body went limp
I immediately broke into a sob that I had been holding in, feeling Luke grab me, helping me out of the room as Harry did what he had to do.
And Luke brought me into a hug, holding me tightly.
"I just need a minute" I told Luke after several minutes of just letting him hold me.
"Whatever you need." Luke told me, making me nod.
"I'll be back in like ten minutes." I knew where I was going.
I walked into the church, seeing it empty.
I shut the doors behind me
"I have believed in you for years" I spoke to the room
Was he here?
Was he listening?
"And I got cancer and it was tragic, but I somehow dismissed it as being my fault and told myself that I got it for a reason, because God doesn't do anything with no reasoning, right?" I found myself yelling.
"But you can't tell me that I did anything to deserve this! That he did anything to deserve this." I sobbed through my words
"You gave me shitty parents, you had me born addicted to fucking cocaine, but then you saved it- you gave me Noah, you let him save my life. Then you let a doctor assault me and then win a lawsuit case when I came out against him- you let him do that!" I screamed
"And then you give me cancer where I have to face doctors everyday, but yet this time- I love them! They are my family! And I fall in love with a man with lung cancer and you are going to let him die!" I sobbed out,hitting my knees.
"And then what? You're going to make me cancer free and drag me all the way back to my pathetic ass hometown and away from Luke and Calum and Ashton and Michael- and anyone else who has given a single fuck about me the past four months" I sobbed.
"God, please." I sobbed.
"Please, if you're real" I was begging him
"Please save austin."
"Please save him, even if him and I don't end up together- please save him, I need him."
