savior - kave

chapter nine

(drug use.⚠️)

kurt couldn't sleep. he tried. and tried. but unfortunately failed. it was beyond late. 3:30AM to be exact.

krist and dave are passed out in the living room downstairs. now dead with their silent breathing and soft snores.

it felt odd. without courtney's presence. kurt helplessly stared at the side of the bed where a body use to sleep.

his heart started to ache. he scooted over and hugged the pillow. feeling a sudden wave of heaviness. his eyes watered. but he knew it was for the best.

he just knew. but he was hurt. he sniffled softly as he rubbed his nose onto the soft fabric texture of the pillow case.

a soft sigh left his lips as he rolled over and laid onto his back. staring up at the ceiling. he blinked his eyes multiple times. feeling the heavy and puffiness around them.

he lifted his hand and rubbed his eye. then lowered it. as anxious habit, he started to bite the inside of his cheek.

blonde locks slowly slid down and covered his vision as he tossed and turned. trying to get comfortable in his bed.

eventually however he did. his eyelids slowly slumped shut. feeling the sense of slumber start to coarse through his bones.

his breathing relaxed. his cheeks tear stained. his hands frozen. calloused finger tips holding the fabric of his blanket.

but it didn't last long. a nightmare begun, dirty blonde eyebrows knitted together as his breathing increased.

he tossed and turned in his bed as he started to cry throughout his sleep. suddenly he bolted up.

"NO!" he screamed out before clasping his hands onto his mouth. his breathing was rapid as he tried to calm himself down.

but he couldn't. he needed something..

more of a someone.

hot tears started to stream down kurt's face as his hands slowly moved off his shaking lips.

he got off the bed. wiping his eyes. he tried to convince himself he didn't need anybody. but that refused to calm him down.

kurt whimpered as he hugged himself. he slowly exited out of his bedroom.

"maybe something can help me." he muttered. knowing exactly what he should do to himself. his feet dragged themselves to the bathroom as he shut the door.

rummaging through the bathroom cabinet. he found what he was looking for. it was only one syringe. full of the substantial drug of heroin. filled to the brim.

his eyes widened as he scooted himself back towards the wall. it was his only one left. he knew courtney must've taken the rest of them before she left.

"my only one." he muttered as he shoved his sleeve up. his hand trembled as he held onto the needle. 

he takes a deep breath as he moved the syringe to a vein on his forearm of his right arm.

hot tears dropped onto his skin as he braced himself. he needed the high. he wanted to feel better.

he bit his chapped lips. suddenly halting himself as he heard footsteps start to approach.

then a soft knock was on the door. "kurt? you in there?" it was dave. kurt didn't respond. he was too much in the trance now.

"kurt?" dave asked worriedly now. kurt injected himself with the drug as he felt his pupils dilate. his brain waves imediantly started to race.

dave opened the bathroom door and gasped. he quickly rushed over. but he was too late. the syringe was now completely empty.

"no! no! no!" dave panicked as he was knelt down in front of kurt.  "fuck!" he shouts as he grabbed onto kurt's hands.

"kurt..?" dave says the others name as his voice cracked. kurt yanked his hands back as he started to suddenly laugh.

"what!?" kurt says as he looked up at dave. continuing this sudden burst of laughter and giddiness.

"fuck, man.. you– shit." dave couldn't make out what to say. he was much too panicked. "why, kurt? why?" he asked.

kurt suddenly narrowed his eyes. "why?" he repeated. "why not." he snapped back. sudden his hand going up and tugging onto his hair as started to making screeching sounds. before laughing again.

dave sighed as he wrapped his arms around kurt. hugging the doped up male. "let go! let go!" kurt whined out, but it didn't even sound like words. more like screeching and slurring of speech.

dave sighed. "answer me first."
kurt's eyes blinked rapidly for a moment before slowly looking up at dave.

"no! i– i just–" kurt slurred out before shoving dave back. "go away!" he screamed out.

krist must've heard the commotion and appeared at the doorway of the bathroom. knowing exactly what was going on. dave caught himself. he nearly hit his head on the bathtub.

"is he...?" krist asked to dave. dave sighed and nodded.

"i feel better!" kurt cried out as he digged his nails into his leg. starting to aggressively scratch at it. "it helps! it helps me!" he says in a panicked high state of mind.

krist and dave shake their heads. "this drug is too dangerous man." krist says as he knelt down the doped up blonde rockstar.

frantic blue eyes looked in different directions. his hair a mangled up mess as he scratched his leg. it had a slight scratch of blood draining down it.

"kurt!" krist exclaimed as he snapped his fingers. kurt's eyes look at krist. "what!?" he shouted back in reply.

he decided not to answer the dope male and looked at dave. "watch him. i'll go get some lefofexidine." krist says and quickly rises up to his feet.

"does he have any even here!?" dave cried out. krist shrugged. "not sure, but if not i'll run out and go get some."

then krist left the bathroom. dave felt overwhelmed and worried for kurt cobain now.

he scooted over to the man. dave's brown eyes watered. "kurt, let's get you to your room..okay?" dave says worriedly.

"NO!" kurt lashed out as he back up more to the wall. almost as if he was cowering away from dave. dave seemed to notice as he frowned.

"why not..? it's safe." kurt imediantly shakes his head in disagreement to what dave said.

"what?.." dave furrowed his eyebrows.

"her." kurt shakily replied.