ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ'ꜱ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴄᴀꜱᴛ || 𝔏𝔢𝔢 𝔉𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔵

Chapter 19: Call My Mom

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧ Felix POV･ﾟ✧.: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾

The rest of that day felt empty. Each day felt more endless than the last, adding on to the pain of my existence. It was as if I was slowly falling into a sort of depression without her. Everyone was falling apart, Jisung and Minho went their own way, Hyunjin was by himself most of the time, I couldn't focus around anyone, Aisha was already gone- I don't think she even ever came back to begin with, and Jeongin was starting to stay to himself more, making up excuses to not be near us. He probably blamed himself for this too.

Did those promises mean nothing to her? I swear we all meant every word of what we were saying. Did she not mean anything by the promise she made? By the pact we had? Chris tried to bring us back together so we wouldn't fall apart when truth be told he was just making it worse. I feel awful for saying and thinking that, but it's true.

Seungmin spaced himself away from everyone, only hanging out with us when he had too. Everyone was breaking apart, peeling away from our group, our tribe, our... bond.

It's been only four days since the Morning News got canceled. Every time I heard the teacher's voice through the speakers now, it filled me with a sense of guilt and melancholy that slowly grew into the depression that now swallowed me whole, immersing me in its dark clouds of despair. How did my life get so out of control to the point I couldn't control it anymore? Like the chaos that broke loose from hell had run up from under ground, terrorizing me along with everyone I care for.

Would this feeling last forever? Or would this be the leading reason for my death? I couldn't bear the thought of dying knowing Aisha hated me for what I've done. I wish I never stalked her. I wish... Hyunjin could control his damn self.

What would that have done though? Nothing.

✄ ----------✄ ---------- ✄ --------- ✄ ---------

I looked out the window of the bus, people around me screamed, some shouting my name or trying to talk to me. I ignored them all, keeping myself up in the clouds I called my thoughts. The sad reality was that they were only sorry excuses for thoughts. Why do I suddenly feel so empty?

"Mate," Chris's voice came from next to me. "괜찮아? 무슨 생각해?" *(Are you okay? What are you thinking?)

I shook my head. "I'm fine. 필요 없다. 중요하지 않아," *(No need, it's not important.)

He nodded. "If you say so. Just please don't keep anything to yourself. Remember our pact?"

I finally looked at him, moving my eyes from outside the window to him."The pact that everyone forgot"  I wanted to say to him, but I knew well that I shouldn't. Sighing, I answered him.

"기억해," *(I remember)

The bus came to a halt, kids immediately climbing out. Not one thank you came from their mouths as they exited. As Chris and I left, however, we said 'thank you' to the man who drove the bus. Two or three people took our actions as an example, saying goodbye and 'thank you' as well. It put a weak smile to my face knowing that maybe, after all, there might've been hope for humanity.

"So Lix," Chris started another conversation between us. I mentally groaned. "Are you going to try getting the Morning News back?"

Snapping out of my thoughts and emotions, I actually pondered the question. My legs stopped moving. After a step or two extra, Chris realized I stopped walking, stopping as well. Although I was staring off into space, I was completely zoned in still.

"You," I bluntly spit out, smoothly shifting my gaze to look him dead in the eyes. "You're coming with me to my house," My tone was deep and serious, which must've caught him off guard since he seemed a little shaken.

"Me? Wait- I am?"

"Yeah, C'mon," I now said, dragging him by the arm down the street to my house. I have never been so grateful to live near a bus stop my entire life.

Rummaging through my bag, I pulled out my house keys, opening the front door. The smell of the plug in air fresheners around my house welcomed me home, a comforting feeling replaced any negative ones I had just by one sniff. Breathe in, breathe out.

"I should text my mom-"

"Go ahead. Take off your shoes," I reminded him. He did as told, then whipped out his phone, dialing his mother's number in. Why was he dialing? Couldn't he just save her contact?

I observed as he put the phone to his ear. "Hello?" I heard a feminine voice say from the other side of the phone. That's not his mom.

"Before you hang up you need to know that we still love and care about you please don't leave us- Felix is here to tell you something," He rambled, not even taking a breath before tossing the phone to me. I caught in nervously, mentally cursing at him now for tricking me.

"Screw you, Chris," I whispered angrily. An innocent smile crossed his face. Putting the phone to my ear, I spoke.

"H-Hi?"

"Who is this?" She asked me. Now I could hear her voice clearly. Now I know it's Aisha. "This is my chance" I thought to myself.

"Aisha, there's something important that I need to tell you... you blocked my number so I never got the chance to tell you..." My voice dimmed down a bit. Her breathing was audible from the other side of the phone.

"Okay...?" I could tell, she was shaking in nervousness. It's okay, I am too.

"Aisha, I-" The sound of the call ending cut off my sentence. Moving the phone away from my ear, I looked at the screen. Dammit.

"... love you," The words followed from my lips even though I knew she couldn't hear it.

"I love you, Aisha," I whispered to myself now. "But you won't ever love me back,"