I'm Sorry

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Lizzie ended up staying over until she had to go back to set, leaving me alone with my wandering thoughts. I'd spent the better part of my weekend pacing the length of my apartment contemplating everything.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a connection with Lizzie, like there was some kind of invisible string pulling me towards her. Everything about her made my heart skip a beat. Every time I'd heard her laugh, or see that adorable nose scrunch, it was like time would just stop and all that existed was...her. It was easily the scariest and most wonderful thing I've ever experienced.

With my ex, it had taken me years before I ever felt the same connection I do with Lizzie. And I knew I shouldn't be comparing the two, but how could I not? My ex is a cold-hearted cheating bitch, someone who I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with. Someone I thought I loved so much it was impossible to describe.

And then along came Lizzie, and it's like my entire world has been flipped upside down. She's so sweet, and beautiful, and makes me feel things I never thought I could. Every minute that I spend with her, or just simply talking to her, is another moment that has me falling for her. Hard and fast.

And I kind of don't mind it.

There's a part of me that keeps telling me I should be afraid of what happens when I'm done falling, of the eventual bottom I'll reach and then I picture those green eyes in my mind and it's quiet.

It's driving me fucking insane.

So when Flo gave me a call asking if I'd like to get lunch with her today while she was on set doing some last-minute filming, I accepted, thankful for the opportunity to distract myself and think about something else other than my stupid issues.

Which is where I currently found myself, pinning my visitor's badge on my flannel's chest pocket as I followed the same guy who first escorted me around that first time I was on set. The odds were in his favor this time, my head too full of thoughts to bother with stopping and staring at the sets like I usually would have.

When we reached the trailers, I quietly thanked my escort before heading off in the direction of Flo's trailer. I hesitated as I passed Lizzie's trailer, staring at the door, my stomach clenching with anxiety. I wasn't purposefully ignoring the blonde, but I was secretly thankful that Flo's invitation to lunch had been on one of Lizzie's days off, so I wasn't going to run into her today. I'd also been neglecting on texting her back since she was last here, mostly because I was afraid I'd reveal everything without thinking. And that was definitely a conversation to have in person.

Sighing, I continued on down the long rows of trailers, only stopping when I finally reached the one with Flo's name on it. I barely had time to knock before the girl was out and wrapping me in a hug, causing me to laugh lightly and attempt to return the hug. It was a little difficult with how she had me wrapped up, but I somehow managed to get a pat or two in before she let me go.

"Y/N! It's so good to see you! I can't tell you how happy I am that you agreed to come have lunch with me."

I smiled up at the blonde, pushing all my thoughts away to focus on my friend. "It's good to see you, too, Flo. How have you been?"

"Good. I've been good. I'd be better if I wasn't refilming a few things, but it's part of the job. How are you?"

I shrugged, feeling my worries come back full force, my mood dampening slightly. "I've been better, but I'll be alright."

The blonde raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the trailer's rails. "What's up?"

I simply shrugged again, not really in the mood to discuss it. After all, this outing was supposed to be me taking a break from all that shit. "It's no big deal. I'm just having this internal battle over someon- something. Over something."

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