Falling From You

Chapter 21

Kara began to wake slowly, the sun already high in the sky;  it’s light filtering through the open curtains of the window in their bedroom. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the scent of their bed and Lena. She could feel a strong body wrapped possessively around her. She refused to open her eyes or move—worried she would wake Lena—if she could lay still, just stay like this long enough maybe she could just savour the feel of her body against hers. Kara knew they had things to talk about, especially after the blow up. She selfishly wanted things to just be normal, she didn’t want to have to start another fight. Kara was tired, she was exhausted from fighting, of both of them constantly walking on eggshells with each other. Lena was upsetting Kara and vice versa, it was turmoil.

         She knew this relationship was tumultuous, it was heavy and, yes, painful at times. But it was also beautiful, and special and one of a kind. Literally.

And sure, Lena was hard to understand. Lena could be stubborn, she could be overbearing, and short tempered. She carried a darkness around with her that stained her soul; Kara saw the battle she waged within herself day in and day out. How exhausting it was and the toll it took on Lena’s sanity and her body. But Lena was also beautiful, and thoughtful, and she had the biggest heart. There was never doubt ever in Kara’s mind that Lena loved her. They were both too stubborn for their own good, but they loved each other more than anything on Heaven and Earth.

         Kara overstepped, that was what she did. She just pushed and pushed until the edge was closer than she realized, flinging Lena over and into the abyss below. Kara never knew how to reel herself back—not when it came to Lena—she just wanted to understand. Kara wanted to be able to ease the burden of darkness that Lena faced everyday. Yes, she wanted to be able to comfort Lena, she wanted to be everything for her. Kara wanted to be her rock, her crutch always , but instead of letting Lena come to her like the scared frail animal she was, Kara came barging into the cage trying to shove love down her throat.

         She didn’t know how to go slow, she had all these  feelings. They were so strong and confusing and the voice in her head just whispered go, go, go. 

         It was hard being in love, it was hard loving someone that was closed off and had so many trust issues. Lena had demons sure, but was it something that Kara could handle? Was she someone Kara could be with forever? Was she what Lena needed, someone who could be what Lena needed? No one had ever sought out the council to sever a bond, but was it something that Kara could ever even contemplate? Could she do that, could she drop Lena and move on with her life like the brunette was a distant memory, get back to her normal desk job as the world's most glorified blog writer.

         Maybe she could get back to finding a way to change the world with her writing? She could follow her dreams and be that voice to those who didn’t have one. The reason she came to earth was she wanted more than what the life in the High Kingdom could offer. While she had so much respect for all the angels—the warriors, the builders, the teachers and the healers that made everything run properly. Their work was important, what they did was incredible, and the blonde would never want to discount that. However, Kara was the epitome of the big city girl stuck in a small town, confined to what was wanted of her but not necessarily what she wanted. The question was, what did she want?

         Kara blinked herself from her thoughts and shifted around in Lena’s arms, her eyes tracing over her face. Lena looked calm, and peaceful. Kara brushed her fingertips against Lena’s brow tracing them down the side of her face. She was so beautiful. Kara’s heart ached as she watched this beautiful, misunderstood creature sleep. People hated her, they feared her even though all she wanted to do was change the world, leave it in a better state than she came into it. Kara brought her hands to cradle the fallen angel’s face, her thumbs stroked under her eyes; dark purple bruises still lingered there.