you're kidding (cameron frye)

chapter 1

"dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn." jeanie says as margot walks down the hall, obviously there's an issue if everyone is in ferris's room. jeanie would never step foot in there unless she had to.

  "jeanie. jeanie is that you? jeanie?" ferris says as if he was in distress, "i can't see that far. jeanie, jeanie i-" he says as margot walks in, ferris flopping down onto the bed as his fake sick finale.  all margot knows that just like jeanie said this act is complete bullshit. the difference is that jeanie hates it, she's liases that ferris can get away with shit like this. thats how margot used to feel but once you come to accept that ferris can get away with anything it'll start to work in your favor, ferris will start to get you out of class. he'll teach you his ways.

  if you do a favor for ferris he'll pay you back 10 fold. this favor could be not telling mom and dad that's he's skipped school, again. or it could be for setting him up with sloane peterson.

  so when ferris is acting like this there's no question that today will be a good day.

  "bite the big one junior." jeanie says, obviously unimpressed by his little performance.

  "thank you jeanie, you get to school." margot, jeanie, and ferris's mother says as ferris winks at the two girls.

  "wait- you're letting him stay home?" jeanie asks, upset that she's the only one that can see through ferris's lie, well maybe she's not the only one that can see through it but she is the only one that cares, "if i was bleeding out my eyes you'd make me go to school. this is so unfair." she complains, a desperate attempt at rating ferris out.

  "jeanie, please don't be upset with me. you have your health be thankful." god he is full of bullshit, he puts his finger to his mouth, asking the girls to keep his secret.

  the children's parents make noises of pity over the seemingly unwell boy as he moans and groans, jeanie getting angrier by the second. she looks ti margot, standing in the doorframe. a look of amusement on her face rather than a look of pity or anger.

  "isn't this unfair? he gets to sit on his ass at home while we have to go to school." jeanie says, hoping for some backup from her younger sister. rather than agreeing margot shrugs, looking to ferris on the bed, seemingly stricken with sickness.

  "jeanie, he seems to be really sick." margot says, her voice so overly sympathetic that anyone with any brain would be able to tell it's fake, thankfully their parents don't have those. jeanie scoffs, knowing that she's alone in this, her younger sister only hoping to be dragged along with ferris.
  "that's it i want out of this family." jeanie says before pushing past margot.

  "i'm ok. i'll just sleep, maybe i'll have an aspirin." ferris says, margot still watching, waiting to be ushered into the room once her parents leave.

  "now listen, i'm showing some houses to that family from vermont today so i'll be in the area. my office will know just where i am if you need me, ok?" their mother says as she tucks him in, as if he's so unwell that he cannot do it himself.

  "i'll check on you to pal." their father says, he'll call but faking a call is a total cakewalk for ferris. if skipping school was a craft, ferris would be an expert.

  "it's-it's nice to know that i have such loving and caring parents, you're both very special people." wow he is laying it on thick, jesus. their parents smile, so wowed by their little boy. as they do so, their mother leans down and kisses him on the forehead
  "now you get better pumpkin." she says with a touch to his nose.

  "ok pumpkin." ferris says in a quiet voice, similar to his mothers.

  "i'll be home at 6 sharp. if you need anything, call." their dad says.

  "if you need anything..." ferris mimics, his voice soft as if he was falling asleep in the middle of talking. margot's parents walk past her, looking back at their poor sick boy one last time.

  "call if you need us." their dad says a final time before leaving the room and heading down the hall, their mother in tow.

  "margot, let him rest. you and jeanie need to leave for school any minute." their mother says as she begins to go down the stairs, the two teens already making eye contact.

  as the footsteps of their parents fade he sits up, healthy and seemingly rejuvenated. "they bought it." he says to margot. they always buy it. "ok, mar we have to be quick. jeanie's on edge and shes not gonna wait much longer before she leaves for school." jeanie is margot's only ride, despite all three of the bueller children having licenses only jeanie got a car, "you're gonna go into school, go to first hour and in passing period call me and i'll fill you in, i've gotta get some things squared away before i can give you definite plans." 

  "sounds good." margot says with a small smile before shutting his door and walking downstairs.