The Wolf's Assistant

Happy 24,000th, Nox!

My birthday. I woke up, my hair tangled and mangled. I saw a shiny bag in the corner of my eye.

"Is that?" I crawled over to the bag. It had a small note on it.

"Happy Birthday, Nox. -Bigby"
I gasped, my eyes sparkled.
"YES! CANDY!" I snatched the bag, ripping into it like a raccoon and a trash pile.

I looked closer at the bag, flipping it around a few times.
"Wait what the fuck is this..."

I gave up reading since I didn't have my glasses with me.
"Fuck it, it's candy."

I stuffed my face with a few of them, shaking my feet in the air out of happiness.

"This is the best fucking thing I've ever tasted!" I paused, picking up the bag.

"Okay wait I'm usually slipping into a sugar rush or coma, what is happening here..."

The only thing that was eligible to my shitty eyes was large text in bright letters on the front of the bag that said:
"Sugar free!"

I threw the bag across the room, crossing my arms.
"I'VE BEEN CHEATED!" I screeched, rolling on the floor whining.

Bigby walked in, holding a cup of coffee in his hands.
"What are you doing?"
He asked, trying not to laugh at me.

I rolled over, hissing.
"You gave me sugar free candy! WHAT WAS THAT BULLSHIT?!"

He rolled his eyes, sitting in his chair.
"You know what happens when you have even the tiniest bit of sugar..."

I frowned, sitting up.
"But it's my birthdaaaay!" I whined, throwing back my head.

He glared at me, watching me roll around on the floor like a child. Which I sort of was at heart.

"You owe me pizza." I said, sitting up again.

He stared at me in disbelief.
"What? Why?"

I rolled my eyes, putting a hand on my thigh.
"Because you need to give me the next best thing to sugar- well, that would be sex- but that comes later...So pizza, yes, pizza is the next best thing next to sugar and sex. Or all of the above, but we know that isn't going to happen...."
I explained, acting like this was a very serious matter.

He put down his coffee, leaving the apartment.

"Yesss..." I whispered to myself, laughing.

______Later...______

He brought back a pizza and I ate all of it. By myself. Me. I still had room for one more box of pizza, but he only brought me one box.

"Holy shit that pizza was the best pizza that has ever pizza..." I said, holding my stomach.

"Okay, can I give you your real gift now, Nox?" He asked, holding something behind his back.

I turned my head, my eyes sparkling.
"You got me something else other than the blessed gift of pizza? Impossible!"

He pulled out a really weird looking creature.

"What the fuck is that?" I asked, looking at it.

He chuckled handing it to me.
"It's a cat, Nox."

I felt my jaw drop as I cuddled it.
"Where's the rest of it?" I asked, touching its skin. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention this cat was naked.

He laughed, watching me cuddle the strange alien.
"It's a Sphynx cat... They are supposed to be hairless." He said, sighing.

I grinned, looking at the little guy.
I looked at his little face.
"Oh my hell, he's adorable, he's like a little raisin!" I said, hugging the kitten.