Eyeliner ~ Rodrick Heffley X Reader

Crying in public has to be the most embarrassing thing ever

"This is really a conversation we need to have in person-"

I didn't go to school the next week. Or the week after that. Or the third week. Finally, my aunt got a call from the school telling her that if I missed another day of school, the chances of getting good scholarships would start to go away. 

I hated myself for caring about scholarships. So, I decided to go on the fourth week. 

From the moment I woke up that day, I was constantly reminded about how Cliff was no longer here. 

There was no gentle knock on my door from him, making sure I was awake. His truck was no longer in the driveway. My ride to school was now Heather. I had my license but I didn't have a car. Even if Cliff's car wasn't completely totaled, I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to get in it again.

Even the weather seemed to mirror how I felt. It smelled like rain and the sky was blanketed in grey sheets. The sun couldn't be found anywhere.

"Y/N, I'm proud of you for going to school," Heather says as it starts to sprinkle on the windshield as she drives. "Getting over your own flesh and blood that fast is impressive. If I were to lose Holly or Hanna, I would never go to school ever again. I'd be absolutely destroyed." I knew what she was trying to do. And it was working. She wanted me to feel bad for going to school. She wanted to make me feel like I didn't care about him.

I stayed quiet. If I hadn't, Heather would've ended up with a black eye and a wrecked car. Just like Cliff.

Once we got to the school, I got out of the car as fast as I could, flipping the hood of a jacket that I found in Cliff's closet up against the wind and mist of rain. I was the first one in my first class. History. 

It's exactly how I wanted it to be. There wouldn't be any strange stares as I walked to my seat. I sat down, avoiding eye contact with my teacher even though I could feel her gazing at me. Unlike usual, she let her rough facade falter a little as she looked at me. Tears threatened to prick at my eyes so I looked down at my desk. 

The class started to fill up. I continued to look down, refusing to look at anyone. That was until I saw a figure pass in front of me, taking his seat. I looked up and caught his eyes. 

"Hey," He says softly. I smile in reply. Guilt settled in my chest when I remembered how I haven't talked to anyone in a month. My parents, the band, him. Even after the kiss which somehow I still don't regret. I'm starting to wonder if he does. "How-"

"Don't ask," My voice cracks. If he does ask I won't be able to hold it together. 

His face falters as he tries to figure out something to say instead. "Do you want to come over after school today? It can be just the two of us if you want," He says. 

"Oh. I don't know," I let the word drift off a bit.

"Just think about it, yeah?" I nod my head and he turns around, satisfied. 

The teacher begins her lesson and I doze off. My mind drifts to anything but history. I began to think about how I should probably talk to Eddie, Stone, and Jeff. How I still haven't read Cliff's letter. How Rodrick has just invited me to his house to be alone. Just the two of us. I thought about how I wanted to be alone in the way that I want everyone around me. But the one person I need the most isn't here anymore. 

I raise my hand in the air before my eyes could start to water. The teacher looks at me. She doesn't even ask what I need, she just lets me go with a nod. 

I stand up and grab Rodrick's wrist to pull him up as I walk out of the room. He doesn't hesitate to start following me. 

Before I even get out of the room, tears start to stream down my cheeks. Luckily I'm almost out of the class.  

I close the door behind us as we leave. I don't know where to go where there aren't people. The bathroom was my only thought but I kind of have Rodrick with me. It would probably be frowned upon if he waltz into the girl's bathroom. 

We end up in the auditorium. I remembered that there isn't a theater or dance class during first period so I knew it would be empty. 

The second I make it inside the doors, I pull him into a hug and he wraps his arms around me. We stand in silence but that's all I needed. My cheek is buried into his chest and his chin is propped up on the crook of my neck. 

We part but he leaves an arm around my waist. "Have you talked to the band?" I ask, staring at my feet. I don't know why they've been on my mind but I knew if anyone would know how they were doing, it would be Rodrick.

His face falters a bit as he scans mine. "They haven't told you?" I looked at him strangely at his question. "I'd talk to them about it. It's not something I should tell you..."

Another thing is going wrong. I don't know what it is but by the sinking look in his eyes, it has to be bad. I couldn't wait until school got out to know, either.

I pulled my old flip phone out of my pocket and dialed Eddie's number. I knew he'd answer the second he saw my name whether or not he was in class. We haven't spoken since he and the rest of the band arrived at the hospital the night the accident happened. I felt guilty for it but all my thoughts were on autopilot. 

The ring of the phone stopped almost immediately. There was a break of white noise before Eddie's shaking voice spoke on the other line. 

"Y/N??" 

"Hey, Eddie," I responded. I didn't know what to say next or if he wanted to say anything, so I stayed quiet for a moment. "How... uhm. How are you?" I finally ask.

Eddie clears his throat before answering. "Still hasn't really hit yet. Just feels like he's on vacation, I guess." I made an understanding sound in the back of my throat.

"I don't mean to change the subject, but Rodrick said you needed to tell me something important?"

He paused for a moment, white noise from the phone filling in the unsaid words. "This is really a conversation we need to have in person-"

"No, tell me now," I interrupted, trying my best to keep my voice steady. 

I could hear a sigh. "I'm really fucking sorry, Y/N. After... well after it, Stone got a call from a record label saying that they wanted to sign us. They wanted Cliff too but we had to tell them that he wasn't with us anymore. They still wanted us."

"What label?"

"A&M records," He took a break as my heart dropped and he spoke the words I'd been expecting. "In Seattle."

"Seattle?" I mumbled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rodrick shift uncomfortably. "Are you... is this going to be a thing where you'll mail them cassettes of songs and then they'll publish it or..."

I trailed off, waiting for an answer. 

"Y/N," Eddie said slowly. His voice was low and grave. "We have to move to Seattle if we want them to sign us."

Tears pricked at my eyes but I blinked them back. "Are you considering it?"

"Yeah. We can't pass something like this up."

I knew they couldn't. And I was happy for all of them. "Shit, this is big." A smile forms on my face as tears form once again. The tears are because I'm losing my closest friends but this is what they deserve. They've been wanting this for so long. "Don't forget me when you're famous," I manage to laugh out before my throat chokes up. 

He lets out a short laugh. "I could never forget you, Y/N. I wanted you to come with us but you're not an adult yet so we can't exactly take you. I'd love for you to start writing songs again and fly up to meet us in a few months so we can get your work out there too."

"Really???" Excitement rings through me. 

"Of course, man," His voice falls off at the end as if someone starts talking to him. "Look, I've got to go back to class. Talk to you later?" 

"Yeah," I responded before hanging up. 

I put my phone back in my pocket as I look up at Rodrick. 

"Everything good?" He asks. I nod and he nods in return. 

"Also," I say before we decide to head back to class. "Your house tonight?"

A smile spreads across his face.