Autism

Intrusive thoughts

Before I get to the research of it, I will give some background.

It was only about two to three weeks ago that I learned what an Intrusive thought is. Before, I referred them to as bad or evil thoughts. I was excited to learn that there is a word for it and that it is completely normal. To better understand intrusive thoughts and help others discover that they have no power and you are still a wonderful, kind person.

I struggled with them because I felt guilty and frightened by them. I think that is an appropriate reaction to it. As long as you fear the thought, then it can never affect you. A webtoon comic called "Not Even Bones" by R Schaeffer had mentioned something about it. I won't do word for word, but it is something around the lines that...... "If you regret a bad thought, then it's not really bad." I really enjoyed this quote because I think most of us regret intrusive thoughts.

Google explains that "Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that can pop into our heads without warning, at any time. They're often repetitive - with the same kind of thought cropping up again and again - and they can be disturbing or even distressing" (Retrieve it: March 31, 2022). 

This means that they are completely normal and have no real power. I struggle with them, and my mom helps me get through them. She often says having those thoughts (and fearing them) can be good because they show/say to you what you don't want to do. And I have told myself before that for many of my intrusive thoughts. I would rather die than ever do them. Our instincts are what drive us, not our thoughts. So, if you are a naturally caring person, or at least know right from wrong, then you have nothing to worry about.

With that, let's get into more research.

In the article "Intrusive Thoughts: Why We Have Them and How to Stop Them" Kimberly Holland explains that the thoughts can cause "distress [...] may also reoccur frequently, which can make the concern worse" (2020). This explains why people don't like them, and sometimes we fear that is our secret desire, and it's not. The thoughts can be a list of things that I not going to name all of them because this is meant to be kid-friendly. So, everything that is associated with any kind of violence will be included in the said word. The thoughts can be about certain "behaviors [that we naturally] find unacceptable and abhorrent" (Holland, 2020). However, no matter how awful the thought is, it is just a thought or in autistic people's cases, images. It holds no power.

Another thing my mom says that "It is the actions that define your character, not the thought." This is very true as our actions are a part of our behavior, our instincts. I know some people might say that, "but criminals have these thoughts and end up listening to them." However, another thing my mom mentioned to me. Is that some people might not have violent thoughts, but their actions are what make them commit to it. But when you have those thoughts and throw them away or "NOPE NOPE NOPE" then its health.

The thoughts themselves "cause anxiety, but they have no meaning in your life. They're not warnings messages or red flags. They're simply thoughts" (Holland, 2020). This is what I am trying to say and tell myself because I struggle with them and think they are red flags. The only power that we can give intrusive thoughts is "those who experience them become worried about their significance. People may fixate on them and become ashamed, intent on keeping them secret from others" (Holland, 2020). Now, I am not saying to tell everyone about every little thought. However, a therapist or someone that you trust can help you release them and makes the weight goes away. Holland pointed out that "[a]s long as you recognize that these are thoughts only and you have no desire to act on them, intrusive thoughts aren't harmful" (2020).

If you don't like the idea of talking about them yet, maybe write them or talk to a stuffed toy. Something with a face that cannot judge you but helps you let it out. I have an emotional journal that I write in to help better understand my emotions. At the time, I thought it would be unsafe to write out my intrusive thoughts, and I never go into detail because I never want to rethink them. However, just putting it on paper has a way of releasing that thought, that negative energy. It makes a person feels better.

Although, intrusive thoughts affect everyone. Holland goes over some mental illnesses that could explain why some people might have them more than others. In my case being autistic, fear them even more. She only lists three, but I think there are more. I also think that the type of intrusive thought will co-side what you fear or care about most. So, if it's fear of hurting people, then it is going to be linked to that or losing people or getting a bad grade. Anything that you care or fear the most about will be what your intrusive thoughts will cater to it. That makes it more difficult as those thoughts can be even worst, and you feel guilty about having them. A non-scientific way of putting intrusive thoughts is that they are the work of the devil. It is just the devil wanting you to do bad things. However, what's funny is that I believe that people that worry about these thoughts are very good because only bad people will not worry so much. On thing Holland's points. These are just going to be all in quotes.

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder occurs when intrusive thoughts become uncontrollable. These intrusive thoughts (obsessions) may cause you to repeat behaviors (compulsions) in the hope that you can end the thoughts and prevent them from occurring in the future" (Holland, 2020).

"Post-traumatic stress disorder often experience intrusive thoughts that may be connected to a traumatic event. These thoughts may trigger some of the physical symptoms of PTSD, such as increased heart rate and sweating" (Holland, 2020).

"Eating disorders may experience intrusive thoughts that are harmful to their mental health. The thoughts can eventually damage their physical health.

People with an eating disorder frequently worry about the physical impact food will have on their body. That, in turn, leads to great distress about eating. It may also cause additional behaviors, such as , in an effort to stop the thoughts" (Holland, 2020).

Now, Holland does go over what causes them, but I think it's linked to more than just brain injuries or mental illness or just being a normal human being. One of the AsapScience videos on youtube explains that these thoughts could be linked to how our behavior evolves. I just think it's what you fear or care about most.

The article does go over how to get rid of them or reduce them, but I think just talking it out, writing, or keeping your mind busy. The thoughts don't generally appear (in my case) if you are focusing on something, such as homework, exercising, reading, playing, crafting, basically anything that you can focus on to minimize those thoughts.

Now, before I go. I want to remind people that your thoughts are your own. You don't have to tell people about them unless you want to. Intrusive thoughts don't mind you are a bad person. You're actions do. 

Cite

AsapSCIENCE, director. Are You Capable of Murder? YouTube, YouTube, 7 Feb. 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfyS3Q5ATbE. Accessed 31 Mar. 2022. 

Holland, Kimberly. "Why Do We Have Intrusive Thoughts?" Healthline, Healthline Media, 21 Sept. 2020, https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intrusive-thoughts.

Schaeffer, R. "Not Even Bones." Www.webtoons.com, https://www.webtoons.com/en/thriller/not-even-bones/list?title_no=1756.