Back To You | complete

Chapter 45| Back To You

Chapter forty-five: Back To You

O L I V I A

I played with the band on my finger. It felt heavier than I remembered, courtesy of the real stones that now constituted it. I knew Kai was awake. And I knew he knew I was awake, too. But neither of us moved. We stayed put.

I wished it was as romantic as sounded but it was not.

We were hiding. We were a ticking bomb, counting down the seconds till we had to face reality which could possibly destroy us. A reality where we knew we had to talk. Spill our ugly secrets and face the music.

Our high was over.

Love had brought us together, but how the conversation would go today would determine if we stayed together.

The fact that I had an empty stomach did not help my nervousness. It was getting more and more difficult to breathe with every second that passed because the weight of what we were supposed to do that day was pressing down on me so hard.

"Kai," I murmured, unable to hold it in.

"Please, not now," he begged.

I whimpered internally.

"We have to," I stated.

He groaned into my neck. "Can't we do it later?"

"You said something along those lines before, and that lead to us splitting again," I told him, sounding braver than I felt. "Let's just get this over with."

"Livvy . . . "

I sighed. "I need this, Kai."

He paused for a moment and I felt it as he exhaled against my shoulder.

He squeezed me from behind. "Okay."

"Sit up?" I suggested.

He let me go after placing a kiss below my ear. I forced the kaleidoscope in me to calm down and we both sat up, facing each other grimly.

We stared wordlessly at one another. I took that time to gather my thoughts an arrange them.

"Where do we start?" He asked after a while.

"Where it all began. The party," I replied confidently. "What happened?"

He scrunched up his nose and I hurried to add.

"I trust you, Kai. I do," I assured him. "But that doesn't mean blind trust or that I don't deserve to know the truth. I think you should tell me what happened so we can talk this out."

"This is harder than I thought," he voiced.

"We need this. You know it."

"I do," he breathed. He didn't continue.

"You can tell me anything," I reminded him gently. "Take your time, but know you can."

"I know," he fussed. "It's just . . . ugh, it's so stupid. I'm embarrassed to say it out loud, even to you."

I bit my lip uncertainly, my fingers tracing the outline of the stones on the ring for comfort.

"What if I told you I knew what?" I said slowly.

His eyes widened and his ears tinged pink.

I took his hand in mine. "Kai, it's fine."

"No, it's not," he said, breaking his gaze away from mine.

I pursed my lips. His dam broke.

"I wanted to make you jealous because I was insecure," he rushed out. "I thought you didn't love me anymore. I thought that if you would look at me giving attention to someone else, you would realize what you would be missing if you lost me." He cringed. "We weren't spending time together anymore and you didn't sneak out to meet me anymore either." He shook his head in regret. "I thought you didn't want me. I felt the need to make sure you didn't leave. I let someone talk me into thinking it was okay to kiss someone else to make you jealous. How naive I was."