Aspiring Nobody

Chapter 21 It's my life

ERIN'S POV

Over the next few days two things happen: Ryan finds out about me working for Styles, which leads to an argument and him telling mum. Only, in his version I was sleeping with Styles and now he's dumped me. Hence mums visit today. I'm not sure if it's to cheer me up or lecture me yet.

Either way, I'm happy to see her. Even though I am so sleep deprived that I am ready to collapse on the table and never wake up after working four nights straight at the club, while still managing to attend all my classes each day. I wouldn't even know what a social life is since I don't have one. My free time is spent studying and sleeping.

As much as I want my life here to work, I am not sure I can handle the pressure or financial burden of being here. Unless I can find a good balance, my life in Sydney could be over. And since my graduation is years away, I need to figure this out, and fast. Because there's not a hope in hell I can keep this up much longer.

"I hope you don't make it a habit of leaving this door open, Erin?"

The sight of Mum and her mousy brown waves and smiling face has me leaping from the chair and rushing straight into her open arms. I couldn't think of another way to greet the most important person in my life. "I've missed you so much, Mum!"

"Same, hon."

After a tour around the campus, we go to the café closest to my dorm for a coffee. We chat and laugh, but I don't tell her how I've been struggling. Not because I don't want to tell her about my life: I just don't want her to worry.

"So, what's life like here? Do you like it? Are you having fun?"

I'd love to tell her what's really been happening since I moved here. However, we're both still adjusting to all the changes, and I am not about to worry her any more than she already is. Besides, she'd never approve of me working in a strip club. "Still adjusting. I guess the longer I'm here, the easier it'll get."

She smiles and nods. "Any potential boyfriends?"

I know she's fishing for information about Styles, but I hold back. "No. I've had a few random guys message me, but I'm not interested. Truth is, I'm too busy to get caught up in the university lifestyle to meet guys. Not that I am interested in meeting anyone." I stop short when my eyes connect with Ryan's as he walks through the door.

Talk about ruining a pleasant afternoon. "You didn't tell me Ryan was coming?"

Mum's face lights up. "He's here?"

"Yes. He just walked in."

If the thought of sitting across from Ryan makes me consider walking out, then how am I meant to rent a room from him and Tasha? I had jumped at the chance when they first asked me some weeks back. Now I realize it would only be a disaster waiting to happen. Beside the fact that it would limit my privacy, I would have to answer to Ryan. And I am not about to do that again. I'll find my own way in Sydney, whatever that may be.

While mum greets him with wide arms, I tell myself to be civil. Not that he deserves it. But I'll do it for her. He greets me with a nod, and I flip him the bird without mum seeing. If they're here to change my mind about Styles then they're too late. "So, what's this all about."

Mum rests her hands flat on the table and sighs. "We're worried about you, Hon."

"Why?"

"Why the hell do you think." Ryan snarls. "Styles, what else."

My first thought is to yell at him, but since they are here out of concern, I say nothing–for now. Still, it doesn't change that his constant interference is becoming too much on top of everything else in my life. I am more than capable of calling mum if I need her. I shrug. "So what. I already told you I was only working with him."

"Yeah, right." Ryan frowns.

"If you think I'm about to sit here and put up with your bullshit, think again!" I throw my serviette at his face.

"Hey!" Mum intervenes. "Both of you just calm down."

"Don't mollycoddle the little twit," Ryan replies in a sudden temper. "Why don't you tell Mum about all the women he's slept with."

A sudden need to defend Styles has me slapping the table. I ignore the stinging pain in my hand. "You're pathetic, Ryan! Just because you have some personal vendetta against him doesn't mean you can spread disgusting rumors about him!"

"See!" Ryan tosses a hand in the air. "What'd I tell ya, she's gone bonkers since she moved to Sydney."

"If anyone is bonkers, it's you!" I snap. "Dragging mum here because you think I'm unable to run my own life." By this point, every person in the café is watching us. But I am not backing down. I am determined to stand my ground; determined to live my life without any one telling me how to do it. "I don't need anyone's approval. I'll do as I please and see whoever I want!"

"Honey—honey," mum reaches across the table and takes my hand between both of hers, "calm down."

"How can I when you're both trying to run my life."

Mum looks more hurt than angry. "That's not true."

"Then let me be. Let me breathe by myself. I'd rather talk to you both about what's happening in my life then have to hide it from you... fact is, both of you are always interfering and making my decisions for me--I don't want that anymore. All I want now is your support."

Mum sits back in her chair and nods. "You're right. It's time you did your thing. Besides, you're a smart girl — you know what's best for you."