my drug (oitnb//nicky nichols)

chapter 17

stella carlin.

oh i fucking hate her.

she's been trying to get in my pants for weeks, i haven't told nicky. who knows how she'd react. i don't need my girlfriend being sent to max so i simply didn't tell her.

of course i'd never do anything with stella. i loved nicky and only nicky.

i was brushing my teeth, as one would in the morning. bathrooms were empty since it was breakfast but i didn't like waking up early so i skipped breakfast most days.

i thought i was alone, i wasn't. stella was there.

she walked around the corner, to the side of the bathroom i was on. she was wrapped in a prison issued white towel and she stood next to me, pulling out her toothbrush and toothpaste.

i ignored her, i looked at myself in the mirror and i spit in the sink.

"hey carter.." stella smiled at me, putting one of her hands around my waist.

"what stella? take your hands off of me." i told her, scooting farther down the row of sinks.

"just give in already, i know that deep down you like it. you like me." she moved closer and stroked my chest with her pointer finger

"i've got a girlfriend. you know that, and you also know that i love her."

"come on, she doesn't have to know. it can be an us thing"

"there is no 'us'. your just a girl that i hate."

"harsh."

"fucking tattooed kangaroo" i mumbled before i left the bathroom with my things

i dropped my stuff in my cube and i went off to look for nicky.

"nicky?" i looked at her

"hey carter. what's going on?"

"nothing, just looking for you. i missed you."

"i missed you to ivy. come here"

"what for?" i said next to her in her cube, in her bed.

"i missed you a lot, you've been distant. what's going on?"

"it's nothing, really"

she placed her hand on my inner thigh and another hand stroked through my hair

"i can tell somethings up with you."

"nicky i'm fine."

"no...your not. your not cheery and happy like usual" she pecked my lips

"sorry i'm not happy, i'm in fucking prison." i got up and stormed off, back to the bathroom. around this time it was empty or mostly empty. i locked myself in a stall and started to cry

"what the fuck?" nicky said to herself, confused.
she got up and went looking in the kitchen for red.

"mom?!" nicky raised her voice, walking into reds office. "somethings up with ivy."

"well, have you talked to her?" red asked, closing her cookbook

"no shit. when i asked she got upset and left."

"give her some space and talk to her about it tomarrow?" she suggested.

"yeah, sure." nicky walked out of reds office and back to her cube.

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still locked in the stall, it's been 15 minutes. i wish i had some heroin..or somthing. literally anything would be good now.

i wanted to tell nicky about stella so bad but i didn't want her worrying and thinking i'd do anything with stella.

"ivy? is that you in there?" stella knocked on the stall door. "open up doll face"

fuck.

are you fucking serious?

i unlocked the door.

"what the hell do you want?" i was pissed.

"i think we both know the answer to that question. please?"

"for the millionth time, no. i've got a girlfriend. get the fuck out of my way."

i push pass her and i leave the bathroom, bumping into nicky as i was looking down at my shoes.

"fuck, sorry." i don't look up, i just keep walking

she put her arm out in front of me "wait"

"what? i really don't wanna be here." i looked at her

"i just wanna talk. something is bothering you"

just as she said that, stella walked passed us looking me up and down.

"i believe that's the problem, am i right?" nicky asked

"yeah."

"did she do somthing to you, did she touch you?"

"no she didn't touch me nicky. she's trying to get me to sleep with her though. i'm not doing it though."

"well i'd hope not. your my girl" she chuckled and kissed me

i always loved when she did that. when she did the littlest things to cheer me up.

i loved my girl.