Harper & Lee Plus Three

Departed

When I got dropped off at the hospital, I thanked the detective and ran in. A nurse was waiting for me. She led me down a maze of hallways and finally to a dark room. She switched the lights on. My mom was laying in the bed, full of all different kinds of tubes. Wires were all over her. I sat next to her bed and held her hand. It was limp and cold, but all her monitors were still beeping.

    "Mom, can you hear me?" I said, knowing she couldn't answer because of the breathing tube she had in.

I looked at her arm and could see all the spots where she poked herself to get the needles in. I wanted to feel sad, but the only emotion I could muster up was anger. Hot, seething anger.

"Shit, Mom! How could you do this? You promised me you wouldn't! You promised me you'd be there for me and your grandkids this time!" I said, right as a doctor walked in.

He seemed tired and super overwhelmed. I saw a badge that said "Marco, M" on the lanyard around his neck.

"Everything okay, Miss?" he asked.

"She overdosed again, didn't she?" I said. No answer. "Why is she like this? How long did it take them to find her?"

"Please, let's have a seat," he said, sitting down. I sat down across from him. "My name is Doctor Marco, I'm an ER physician here. Are you her daughter?"

"Yeah. Harper."

"It's good to meet you, Harper. I'm sorry that you're in this position right now with your mom." He sighed. "When the police found her, they didn't know how long she was out for. They were able to bring her back with Narcan, but—"

"But what? Narcan has worked on her multiple times! Are you telling me it didn't work this time?"

"She was unconscious for far too long. Narcan can't have an effect on someone who has lost so much oxygen to their brain. It's damaged beyond repair." I thought I was going to pass out. It felt like I couldn't breathe. "We have her hooked up to life support for now, if you wish to leave her until you get things arranged. A lot of people in this situation prefer to make funeral arrangements before stopping life support."

"No. Pull the plug. I'm not doing this," I said firmly.

"Are you sure you don't want to take more time to think about this?" he asked.

"No. She's basically dead. Leaving here hooked up longer isn't gonna bring her back."

"Alright. I'll be back in a few minutes," he said, getting up. "Take as much time as you need. Do you wish to see her after we complete the procedure?"

"When she's dead? No. Give me a couple minutes and I'll leave."

He nodded and walked out of the room. I went back to holding my mom's hand. There was nothing but the sound of all the machines she was connected to. Why was this happening? She isn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with us. With her nine grandbabies watching fireworks and eating hotdogs.

"Mom, I don't get it," I said, my voice cracking as I fought to hold back tears. "You said you wouldn't do this. You promised things would be different this time. You promised." I sniffled and wiped away a few tears. "You...you always told me this. You did this every time. I don't know why I believed you this time."

I took one last look at her and ran out of the room, down the hallway and out to the main entrance. I took out my phone to call Lee so he could get someone to pick me up. My vision was blurry from all my tears as I selected him from my contacts.

"Harper! Harper!"

I looked up. Lee, Talia, and Stanley were barreling across the parking lot. I fell into Lee's arms.

"She's dead! She's dead, Lee!" I said.

Stanley and Talia gasped. Lee held me tighter.

"Harper, we're so so sorry. Do you want us to give you two a minute?" Talia asked.

"N-no," I said. "I already said goodbye. I'm done. I want to go home."

I took a minute to collect myself and walked back to Stanley and Talia's car. Lee kept his arm around my side. He wasn't letting me go. I didn't want him to, anyways.

We pulled out of the hospital parking lot and started the drive home. I could see some fireworks from the car window, lighting up the sky pink, purple, and blue. Lee leaned his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm here for you," he said.

"I know. I love you," I said.

"Love you too," he said.

When we got home, everyone was still in the backyard. I froze when I saw all of the kids quietly watching the fireworks. Ella and Lukas had a hard time when Zozo was sick, but they'd never experienced someone dying before. The triplets always knew my mom. How was I going to tell them they'd never see their Grammy again?