Harper & Lee Plus Three

What the Hell?

Halloween was super chill at our place. I was almost thirty weeks pregnant and could hardly move. I was legit, a whale. Like, I'd been a whale but now I was an even bigger one. Like moving from a humpback to a blue whale.

Etsy was next to me on the couch, knitting some kind of turkey thing. I was eating popcorn mixed with peanut M&Ms, along with my second box of the Halloween Oreos. Halloweentown was playing on the TV. Life was good.

I jumped as the front window opened. Lee climbed through, still in his apron from work. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bro, you gotta stop coming through the window before you scare the babies out of Harper!" Etsy said.

"Forgot my house key again," he said, shrugging. "You're working on something and my girlfriend is not getting up just to let me in."

"Hey, I can still move! Just...not a lot," I said.

"I wanted to get in here as fast as I could," Lee said. His face had that perfect glow that I loved. He always lit up so much when I was excited. "They announced that they started filming the new Star Wars movie!"

Etsy immediately started screaming. I rolled my eyes. Those two were such nerds. I really just couldn't get into Star Wars.

"Shh! I'm trying to relive my childhood!" I said, turning the volume up on the TV.

Lee chuckled and sat down next to me, rubbing my massive bump and giving it kisses. He was literally going to be the best dad ever.

The doorbell rang about fifteen minutes later. I really needed to stretch my legs, so I got up. I waddled slowly over to the door. They started pounding on it. I rolled my eyes. What brats. I grabbed the candy bowl and opened the door. Two cops were standing there. One was bald and one had a scruffy beard.

"Uh, can I help you guys?" I asked.

"Everything alright here, Miss?" asked Baldy.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I said.

"Some people said they saw a black male in a hoodie come in through the window, then they heard screaming," said Beardy.

At that moment, Lee walked behind me to see what was going on.

"Hey, let me see your hands!" Baldy said, holding out a taser.

"I don't know what's going on! I live here!" said Lee, putting up his hands.

"He forgot his key again. He comes through the window all the time," I said.

"We were concerned about a domestic situation because of the screams. We were under the impression that this was a break in," said Beardy.

"No, he's my long-term boyfriend. We don't have any problems. My friends were screaming because they were excited about some new Star Wars movie," I said.

Baldy put his taiser back in its holster. I took a breath of relief. Both of the cops were taking a look around the living room.

"I don't see any sign of a struggle here. Looks like just a regular movie night to me," said Beardy.

"Yup. Looks like it. Sorry to bother you guys," said Baldy. "Just don't keep climbing through windows, alright?"

"I'll try," said Lee.

"Have a good night, guys," said Beardy as they walked off.

"Thanks, you too," I said, closing the door. "Assholes."

"Don't get mad at them," Lee said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "They were just responding to a call. That could've gone a lot worse."

"I just don't get it," I said, sitting back down. "Like, someone walking by is really gonna call the cops because they see a guy go through a window and hear a girl scream about Star Wars?"

Lee sighed. "Not just a guy...a black guy. This is literally a part of my life. Last month I was wheeling a cart of product around in my uniform and some Karen told a manager because she thought I was stealing it."

I hugged him. I just wanted to cry.

"Why haven't you told me about this?" I said.

"I guess I'm just...used to it," Lee said.

I looked down at my bump, protectively rubbing it.

"Do you think they will—"

"Yeah, I do. You're blonde and pale. They're gonna be dark like me. You knew that."

"I knew that but...they're my babies. I don't want them to face those kinds of things. I'd legit knock every Karen out who thought they were stealing or thought they were sus because of what they looked like!" I said.

"Same," said Lee.

"Aww, you guys are adorable," said Etsy.

I looked down. She was hiding under the coffee table.

"Girl what are you doing under there?" I asked.

"Dude they're cops! You never know when they're just gonna take out a gun and start shooting," she said.

"I highly doubt that the ten dollar table we got off Craigslist is gonna save you from a bullet," Lee said, chuckling.

"You right. You right," said Etsy.

She crawled out from the table and went back to working on her turkey. I backed up the movie to where we left off before whatever the hell just happened. I kept holding onto my bump. It was a scary world out there, and I knew I couldn't protect my babies forever. I could protect them for now, at least.