And Then I changed.

Tris

He had a girlfriend, a girlfriend and it was not even me. We were supposed to have forever. Why can´t I remember even breaking up with him? Why can´t I remember being gone a whole year? What the hell happened? I´m desperately trying to find something in my brain that tells me this is just a dream. That this isn´t real. I´m looking between them and I see what we once had, happiness. For some reason I don´t feel happy. Like I haven´t been happy in a long time, I just feel empty, like something is missing. Maybe that part is Tobias or maybe something else, I don´t know. I just know that I don´t like it.

I´m starring at their interlinked hands, his beautiful hands who I once loved so much, I suppose everything can change.

“Are you sure you are alright?” Shauna asked me

“Positive” I answered, but I could hear the lie underneath it. I saw Nita turn her head and whisper something in Tobias ear as a pained expression took his face. He looked at her briefly and then he starred at me with his sad ocean blue eyes. I was just about to ask him about it

“We need to go” he said as Nita dragged him in his arm and they walked out. When the door closed I could no longer hold my tear in. I had lost my only love. The person who had made the last three… or I suppose four years’ worth living. He had made me happy, were did we go wrong? Why would I break up with him? Why could I not remember doing so? But most importantly, why did he bring her here? Suddenly I felt trapped inside my own head, everything was starting to spin, like I didn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs. I was gasping for more air when two arms wrapped themselves around me in the bed, I looked up to find my big brother.

“It´s okay, Bea. You are okay” he whispered in my ear. I heard his words but I didn´t believe them. Suddenly something was put over my nose and mouth and I was giving air in it. My gasps slowed down to regular breaths and my head was back to normal. A memory flashed across my eyes of a party with a lot of people, I was spinning in the dancefloor with some blonde, tattooed guy. We both was really drunk and suddenly the spinning had gone over to a make out session and then the memory died down and I was back in my hospital room with my worried friends around me, all looking frantic at me.