🄿🄻🄴🄰🅂🄴, 🅂🅃🄰🅈 | OsaSuna Angst

Akaashi's Pain

ATSUMU'S POV
Akaashi pulled a chair and settled beside Osamu's bed. He's staring at Samu like my brother is his entire world.

I really hoped for Samu to look at Akaashi like that, too...

I admire Akaashi's loyalty and devotion to Samu...but I also pity the guy for my brother couldn't reciprocate that...

"Don't cry." Omi Omi whispered as he stopped a tear escaping from my right eye seeing that I stare at Akaashi.

We are sitting at the futon I set up in the room.. The plan is to make sure Samu wouldn't do crazy stuff like what he did before when he's too hurt with the same guy.

I felt a heat rised up into my face and I lowered my head in embarrassment.

"You okay, Tsumu?" he asked again as he bend a little closer to me.

I nodded and lifted my head. I smiled at him.

I leaned my head into his shoulder and I definitely saw a blush of pink on his cheeks.

I felt a little sleepy and tired as Omi put one part of his headset on me and played the song "Dandelions".

I just felt Omi's hand caressing my cheeks and I drifted to dreamland.

SAKUSA'S POV
I made sure that Tsumu is well covered with blankets and he's comfortable as he sleeps here in the futon.

I removed my headset from his ear and hide it back into my pocket.

Akaashi is sitting in the same position still and caressing Osamu's right cheek.

I sighed.

He's blushing... but not with excitement or because he's thrilled.... But because of all the crying...

What a painful scene.

"Akaashi.. You should-"

"Go on ahead. I know it's kinda late, Sakusa-kun." he muttered without lifting his head.

"N..No.. You need to rest first. I know you're tired-"

He looked at me, his eyes are so red and puffy.
"Tired? Yes.. I am so tired. I don't know what to do... I'm so broken... I'm.. tired.. I want to just give up ... but I also want to be happy. I love Samu... I love him so much that it hurts badly..." he bursted out and buried his face into his palms.

I stood and sat on the bed.

I pulled him into a hug. A friendly hug.

I know it takes a lot of efforts to keep one's composure, and he's doing it fine... and seeing him cry like this, being so vulnerable in front of others... breaks my heart too.

It's painful... Just witnessing this, feels like torture... I guess what he feels right now is tremendous and unbearable... Akaashi needs strength to go on... But the only person who give him strength, is the same person draining it out of him.

It's just.... so painful....

"All.. I care about is Samu.. It... doesn't matter if I make myself a fool... by devoting myself to him... I just want to be around him, and protect him... I love Samu with everything I have... I may not have so much, but I wish my feelings could reach to him... Even once... I thought... I thought..." he stopped and sniffed

"I thought... We finally... can be happy... together... I thought... Rin couldn't hurt Samu anymore... I thought Rin is out of the picture.... but I am so wrong..." he continued.

I just listened to what Akaashi has to say as tears continue to rolled down like a river flowing...

"I.. don't know what to do.. I.. I tried everything... I thought loving him and caring for him... would make Samu mine... but... I failed...All these hidden pain inside of me... it just so unbearable!"

"Sakusa-kun, I don't want to give up... But it hurts... It hurts so much like it's killing me..."

I rubbed his back to calm him down. I don't really know what to say and I started to tear up myself...

"It's... fine... Let it all out..."

He cried tons for the next 15 minutes before he completely gained his composure back. He cried and whimpered... the room was filled with sobs and regrets and pain...

"I'm sorry... I blurted that out... You can rest for now, Sakusa-kun" he said weakly.

"I'll be fine.. Thank you.." he yelped a little.

I nodded as I felt tiredness in my entire system, though I don't want to leave him alone.

I decided to lay beside Tsumu and put my arms around him.
It's warm and wonderful. I love you Atsumu Miya.

I really hoped for Akaashi to find his happiness, too.