Defeated

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Since the day we had that conversation about being happy around each other, Suna started to spend his lunch time with me.

He would usually bring two bento... one for himself and one for me....

Tsumu would always smirk at me during lunch and go out of the classroom with our other classmates.

"You okay, Samu?"

"Haaah? Ahh yeah.. I think, something's up with Tsumu.." I replied without removing my eyes from the door.

"You think so?"



"Yes. It feels like he wanted us two to spend time together... I wonder why..." I replied mindlessly.

"...."

I sighed.

"It isn't good sighing in front of the food, Samu." Suna commented and I looked at him as he placed a bento into my desk.


"You know, Suna... You don't really have to bring me lunch everyday... It feels weird. Besides, Mom cook-" I said without giving too much of the thought to the words I used...

"So... You don't like them? Okay... I'll stop bringing you lunch then." he said as he stood up and picked up the bento from my desk.

He walked back to his seat as my eyes followed him.

He kept the bento and laid his head on his desk.

Shocked, I stood and walked beside him, kneeling down to check on him.

What on Earth did I do?!?


"Hey... Suna... Come on... That's not what I meant... Are you mad or something?" I asked as I poked his arm

I received no response from the guy.

"Come on, the lunch time would be over soon... Just eat, come on, Suna..."

He lifted his head and he brush away tiny water droplets of tears from his eyes.

Wait ... He cried?!?



"You're so insensitive, Osamu... Saying those words to me.... You don't know anything about the effort I put in each bento... and you're telling me it feels we-"

"Suna... Listen! I love yo-.."

His eyes widen as he stared into my eyes. He got a very nice eyes and beautiful face.... Get it together Osamu!

"Your bento, okay!?! What I really meant is that..." I quickly added..


"I'll not be bringing anything for you anymore... Just.. leave me alone..." he said as he buried himself into his desk again.

My heart dropped and shattered into million pieces.

I wasn't able to eat lunch at all, and Suna as well.

I have been trying to talk to him to convince him to eat, but he ignores me... completely..... as he never lifted his head until the bell rang.

He looks away from me as I stood and walked back to my seat frowning.

It's not what I really meant... Dammit!






~
"We'll be having Science experiment by next week. Please choose a partner and submit your names tomorrow, understood?" our Science teacher announced.

Being 31 in class, probably I have to work alone... again.

Tsumu has more friends than I do... so he can easily choose from those friends of his.

My attention falls into Suna... He is a quiet one.. Would he approach someone or will someone come to him to be his partner?


I just sat here in my desk and felt sad... Why don't I have any other friends other than Tsumu?


Between the two of us, I am the smarter one... That's true... I mean I am a scholar here in Inarizaki... while my parents have to work hard to pay for Tsumu's tuition...



We don't want to attend different schools so we both took the scholarship exam, I passed and Tsumu didn't... But my parents insisted to enrol Tsumu here...so we can be together.


I actually felt guilty. We only have a small business and they don't earn much... Why do we have to attend this school anyway?!?! Why do I have to pass the exam and Tsumu didn't?!

My train of thoughts was cut short when I realized Suna talking to Tsumu.

Suna leaned down and whispered something to my twin.

I clenched my fist as Tsumu smile widely. Does Suna actually asked Tsumu to be his partner?!

Still clenching my fist, I laid my head into my arm folded in my desk.


Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!


And as expected no one in my class approached me to be their Science partner. I am used to it.... Tsumu and I don't usually pair up because... it's a twin thing... we wanted to try things without each other....

But, I felt so beaten up right now...

I felt like I fight a losing battle.. Lose terribly.... I felt defeated more than ever!



~
"Hey, Samu! Mom said dinner is ready!" Tsumu said as he entered our bedroom.

I don't want to see him or talk to him so I ignored him

My eyes didn't leave the pages of the book I am reading...

"Hey! What's wrong with ye?" he asked as he held my shoulder tightly.

"Samu!"

"Hey! Are you mad?!"

"No. Just leave me alone, Tsumu... I don't want to eat... I'm full"


"What did you eat anyway? How can you be full? Suna said you didn't take your lunch...."

"Are you two in a fight, Samu?" he asked again

"Suna said-"


"WILL YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!? I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOU SAYING HIS NAME OR YOU BLABBERING ABOUT HIM?!" I shouted as I lunged towards him.




Terrified, Tsumu lost his balance and we fell to the floor making a loud crash!



ATSUMU'S POV
"What's your deal, Samu? What's gotten into y-"

He is straddling me with anger...




No.. It's not with anger...











He's trembling..... He's crying....

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