The Unexpected Love

Chapter 27: Sean

Sean’s POV:

I can’t breathe. I literally can’t breathe. My lungs are sealing together making it impossible for oxygen to get into my body. What in the hell made me think I could juggle two guys at the same time? What possessed me to kiss Dover?

                ‘Because you wanted it Sean. You’d been dying to get your hands on Dover for a while now.’ My conscience answered. It was right. I mean Dover is sexy. Military grade ‘A’ sexy and I would have to be blind not to want him. But that didn’t excuse that fact I was trying to make it work with McClane.

                ‘Stop getting your panties in a bunch. You aren’t officially dating McClane. There was no contracts signed, no blood oaths made. You said you’d give it a try. McClane has had his share of double dipping I’m sure. It’s time you sample what’s out there and have a bit of fun.’ My conscience said. Cutting my eyes to the left I looked at McClane. I would be an idiot to think I was the only one McClane’s ever been with. It was time for Sean Wesley to finally stand up off that bench of fear and finally get into the game. The only way I would be able to make a choice is if I kept my options open.

                ‘That’s what I’m talking about. Playing the field isn’t cheating. Playing the field is making an informed decision.’ My conscience cheered. Cutting my eyes to the right I drank in the image of Dover laughing at Avery’s joke. I felt my resolve set in as I leaned back in my chair.

                ‘So it’s settled. I’ll date the both of them until I can make a decision on who I choose.’ I thought to myself.

                ‘Give yourself a deadline. Knowing you this could drag out forever.’ My conscience said.

                ‘Well I’m shipping out in four days… so it’ll be impossible to date them while I’m on duty… but I get a month relief after my first assignment so I’ll start then.’ I said satisfied with myself then something occurred to me.

                ‘Should I tell them?’ I asked. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in the back of my head as if someone slapped me in the back of my head.

                ‘HELL NO YOU DON’T TELL THEM! ARE YOU NUTS?!’ My conscience yelled.

                ‘Okay, okay there is no need to scream at me… or cause me pain. It was just a question.’ I thought trying to get my conscience to calm down.

                ‘It wasn’t just a question. It was a dumb ass question. You want them to be their selves. Not trying to one up the other guy. If you tell them it’ll be about them and not about you. This is about what you want not them. We already know what they want, they want you. It’s about what you want, do you want Dover or do you want McClane? Dating the both of them will help you decide what you really want.’ My conscience explained.

                ‘You’re right… I won’t tell them. I’ll date them both after I get back from my first assignment. I’ll alternate dates and at the end of the month I’ll make a decision on who I want.’ I said. Nodding its head my conscience gave me a salute.

                ‘Now that you’ve got that straightened out you might want to stop talking to yourself. I do believe your mother asked you a question and you’ve been sitting here like a bump on a log.’ And just like that he was gone. Blinking I turned my head to my mother to see he was right. The entire table was watching me.

                “Huh?” I said. My mother and Mrs. Owens looked to one another then back to me.

                “Maybe I shouldn’t leave just yet.” My mom said as she watched me with worried eyes.