The World She Saw | Attack on Titan x Reader Fanfiction |

The Nightmare: The Survey Corps (2)

~Your PoV~

"So now we're all supposed to take part in this suicide mission? Hanji is out of her mind!", Auruo complains. Since you were all at dinner together, he's been doing nothing else. But you can understand him. You weren't exactly a fan of the mission tomorrow, either. And the other members of your squad were also rather less enthusiastic. Everyone knew that these capture missions were some of the most dangerous things you could do. In the past, the survey corps had been successful a few times, but the failures were much higher, and you didn't even want to think about all the people who had been killed and injured.

Your comrades got used to the fact that you are part of the team and can't deny your talent, but they were still not comfortable that a soldier, who has just finished her training comes along as well. Petra showed the most compassion and concern, but also trust, while Gunther and Eld were quite neutral and did not approve of the whole mission as such, with or without you. And Auruo was arrogant as ever, claiming that if you don't get killed, you'll just get in the way anyway and wet your pants in fear.

After you were done eating, you get ready for bed like everyone else. A restful sleep will be important for such a mission tomorrow.

"We should go to bed early, so we'll be fully rested tomorrow," Petra says as she opens the door to your bedroom.

"Yeah, I hope everything goes well..." you mumble.

Without much ado, you head off to bed. You actually feel quite rested, since you had your day off, but you still managed to fall asleep quite quickly.

---- A sea of flames. The air was hot and burned in the lungs with every breath. The black soot and smoke in the air obscured the vision. All paths were blocked by fire or other things. There was no way out, and the screams of the burned disappeared unheard into the night. No life. No rescue. Only the fire that, unrestrained, devoured more and more. It was hell. Every single second was hell.-----

You jolt awake. Your lungs and skin were still burning and the images of the inferno played over and over in your head. Your breath was quickened and the sweat of fear ran down your temples. You pressed your trembling hands against your chest. You can feel your heart pounding against your rib cage. It was that dream again - that nightmare. Ever since you can remember, you've had it, which is why you hardly ever close your eyes at night, afraid it would haunt you again. 

You can't even explain to yourself why those are the images that scare you so much. But everything always feels so real. As if they were memories coming to light rather than dreams. But you just don't know why. You can't remember ever seeing such a huge wall of fire. No matter how hard you try, nothing resembles these images, and most of the time your strong thinking results in a headache, but no realization.

You don't notice that you started crying until the first tear touched your hand as it fell. Somewhat panicked, you look over towards Petra to see if you had woken her up, but she was still fast asleep. That calmed you down. You definitely didn't want anyone to see you in such a state. You can face the Titans fearlessly, but a dream makes you cry like a little child? You feel ashamed of it.

Slowly, you put your head back on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. You definitely couldn't fall asleep anymore.

With the images still burned into your mind, your sobs echoed through the otherwise silent night.

°•°•°•◇•°•°•°

The day of the capturing mission dawned. This day would show how capable you really were.

Together with your comrades, you went to the wall, from where you would start.

Hanji organized the groups. It was as followed: Levi's squad, divided into the teams of Eld, Gunther and Auruo, and you and Petra, will be responsible for overpowering the titan that is to be captured and to make sure that it is immobilized. Hanji's squad will capture the titan using the equipment provided. A few remaining scouts are located around your position to take out approaching Titans so that your capture mission is not interfered with. And should a titan become dangerous and for example break free, the corporal Levi will kill it. 

After the introduction, it didn't take long before the mission started. Hanji was hard to be stopped and wanted to start as soon as possible. It was bad enough for her to have to wait since the horses had to be moved to the other side first.

After it was finally time, Eren, who had to wait on the wall as before, wished everyone good luck.

The scouts forming the support went to their positions. The area was secured. Now it was up to Hanji to pick a titan to capture. And she was really picky. It couldn't be just any titan, it had to match her wishes. 

It took a while for Hanji to find one. Slowly, everyone was getting a little annoyed because they wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible while everything was still quiet. But Hanji didn't let that bother her and was more shocked that no one shared her enthusiasm.

"Oh! That's exactly the kind of titan I'm looking for! This one is going to be captured!" she finally announces, pointing to a 6-meter class Titan. To you, this titan looked like the others you've encountered, but to Hanji, it was special.

Now the moment of truth had arrived. Eld distracted the Titan, meanwhile, you and Petra rode behind it. You look at Petra, who nods at you, giving the sign that it was the right moment to strike. Almost simultaneously, you jump off your horses and cut the Titan's Achilles' heel. You the right one, Petra the left one. The Titan loses its balance and falls forward onto its face, completely unbraked, with a bang. 

Immediately, Gunther and Auruo were on the spot, cutting off its hands. Hanji's squad was also ready. In quick movements, they tightened the ropes around the Titan, pinning it to the ground.

Everything went according to plan and no other Titan got in the way. It was just too perfect, but then it happened. One of the ropes wasn't tight enough and the Titan managed to break free. Its big mouth lunged for one of the scouts, but you saw the danger beforehand and were there in time before the soldier could get between its teeth.

The almost-captured Titan now lies lifeless on the ground, slowly dissolving into smoke.

"Ahh! That one was perfect! Why did you kill it?", Hanji screeched as she came up to you and shook you back and forth by the shoulders. 

"It was clearly out of control, wasn't it?" you countered, unimpressed, "We'll find another one."

Hanji was whimpering, but it faded quite quickly and she was hooked again on finding an even better Titan.

" You did a good job," Gunther says as he walks up to you.

You just nod your head in response. Somehow, your attention was off. Just now, you also just acted on impulse and didn't wait for further orders. Normally you weren't so hasty and always keep a cool head, but today you just couldn't concentrate. The images of your recurring nightmare wouldn't let you go and took your attention completely. You cursed yourself for it, knowing perfectly well that you have to be fully present behind the walls, especially on such a dangerous mission. 

Things continued. Hanji had to choose a Titan again, and of course, she was as picky as before.

You are in the air to be able to kill the Titans Hanji didn't like, so they don't cause problems later.

But even now, your thoughts revolved around only one subject: that terrible dream. Your head hurt whenever it appeared in your mind's eye. It was like a curse. It had never been this bad before. You've had the same nightmare many times before, but it's never been this resistant. Normally you can always focus fully on your tasks and usually suppress it as a result. But today it was so prevalent.

"Hey, watch out, (y/n)!", Eld suddenly calls out.

You were so distracted that you didn't notice a Titan approaching you hungrily. It reaches for you. At the last moment, you manage to dodge by hair's breadth, but in doing so you fail to shoot your anchor into the nearest tree to remain in the air. As a result, you hit the ground roughly and roll over it bumpily and in pain. The wire, pulling itself back in, had wrapped itself around your body.

The titan crouches down in front of you. As you look up, you see the grinning beast reach out its hand towards you. It was so close that you could see yourself reflected in its big dark eyes. But still, your body didn't move a bit.

Its hand came closer and closer. And you just lay there.

Maybe it was better this way, you say to yourself...

27th November 2021