My Life As a Ghost

My Life(as a ghost) Chapter 9

"Tandra," Tim called from a room. I moved blearily up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom, following his voice. "Nice hair," he winked at me and sat down in the little kitchen we were in. I had never seen it before and was surprised by the colors. Blues of all hues colored every inch of the ceiling, furniture, and floor. I laughed quietly to myself as I saw the light blue like my favorite shirt on the rug.

"What," he said, moving in to sit beside me. He took my hands and rubbed them softly. I smiled back at him but suddenly the past days events fell on me. Well, at least I guess you could call the days. I really didn't know how to tell time in this black swirling pit outside Tim's house.

"Oh, Tim!" I cried astonished that I had forgotten Candle, "What are we going to do about the queen? I mean, what if she kills all of you for helping me? What if," my words got silenced as Kandel walked in, peeping her head around the corner.

"May I come in?" she asked, but walked in anyway without waiting for an answer. She walked up to a cabinet and came out with a cup. She seemed perfectly comfortable with the whole house. I guess she has been here a couple of times. Well, she has been dead longer than I have.

"Of course," I answered just as she sat down with a mug full of orange juice. Now thinking about it, I was kind of hungry. "Um, do you have any food in the house? I am sort of hungry." I held up my index finger and my thumb to represent 'tiny'.

"Sure. All kinds of stuff to choose from," Kandel stood up and threw her arms around in a circle. "We have chairs, refrigerator, books, magazines, and more!" She cried, laughing gleefully at a joke that I most definitely did not understand.

"Real food?" I asked, laughing along although I don't understand her excitement.

"Food? Who wouldn't have food? Food is our daily fun time. Now, what can I get you?"

Before I could even answer, Tim popped in. "Kandel, I am the owner of this house. I should be the one introducing the foods," Kandel blushed and I felt really bad for her.

"Aw, Tim. She was just helping. And I like it better how she described all the yummy foods I can eat. But really, do you have real food?"

Gaining courage, I saw Kandel laugh quietly, and then continue. "Yes, of course. We have green beans, pancakes....."

All sounds faded out. What was with the day? I guess this seer thing is catching on. Maybe I will get them everyday. I don't know the answers to those questions. The only answer I have now is that I am having a vision. I felt the almost familiar pull that came storming toward me. But this time it seemed slower, something more deliberate. It seemed like I needed to keep stock of what is going on. That this vision may change something...but then again. I could be wrong.

Fire! I watched as the kitchen blazed in a fury. It didn't seem like something I wanted to be in...for that matter, nobody wants to be in it.

"Run, Tandra!" my Dad shuffles through the room quickly, not able to pick up his feet because of the bedroom shoes he has on.

"Run!" comes another, gentler but more frantic voice. At four, I don't know what to do. Run, or don't run. I look at Dad then look at the woman, the one with the gentle voice. Her red hair in a mess and chaotic. "Run!" she screams again, but this time because her robe catches fire. Her beautiful face is corrupted in the terror that is easily seen on her face.

At such a young age, this makes me scared. Scared, is all I think. Run? Without Mommy? No, I want teddy. I look around, trying to find him where I left him at the table. Seeing him in a ball of fire, I break down crying in the middle of the fire.

A pink ribbon lies on the counter. I know I have never seen it. But it looks so pretty. Maybe Mommy can put it in my hair.

"RUN!" Dad yells, pushing me toward the door. This time, in terror, I run out the door as Mommy is screaming at us to stop it. Just stop the pain.

Before I walk out the door, I take one last look at Mommy and see her as a ball of flame, raising her hands above her head.

I look up at Tim. And Kandel.And the room. But I see nothing. I am terrified. I don't blame myself for killing Mom. No, that would be a waste of time. I just see that I am four, and I meant no harm...no harm at all. Oh, who am I kidding? She caught on fire because I didn't run. I didn't follow directions.

I put my face in my hands, my hair falling over my face in a knot. "It's okay," Kandel rubbed my back. "It's okay. Like you said before, you didn't mean it. You didn't make it happen on purpose."

Tim just sat there, looking completely shocked. Nothing had prepared him for being such a freak. I warned him at how horrid I am. But he didn't listen.

"Are you okay?" he asks gently. When I don't answer, he takes my hand and with his other free one, he lifts my chin. Averting my eyes to the floor, I try to look anywhere but at him. He is probably just working up a speech about how we can't be together anymore. And the worst thing is, I know I deserve it. "Tandra, oh, look at me. I can't stand to see you this way," Tim picks a strand of hair away from my face to look at me better.

Finally giving in, I turn my eyes to him. I try to hide the thrashing pain behind my eyes, but I can see I failed. Tim looks so worried, I am afraid he will bust. Worried about what he should say to tell me to get out of his life. Freak.The word that he shall call me.Freak, the strongest word that I will ever know. My eyes start to water, this lonely little world means so much to me. With the half breath it takes to say it, it will shatter the world around me as if it were glass all along. Not steel, no, my whole world was just some thin, flimsy piece of glass barely keeping out the horrors. But once this word comes, that glass shall break. And I will fall.

"Tandra," Tim says, giving way into his fears I bet, "Are you okay? That must have been horrible witnessing something like that! Here, come here," I am so surprised by what he says, I do as he says. He cares about me. Oh, he does care! But not in the way that I had feared. No, he cares about it being bad, and how I shall react. But, for him, I will be good. I will not give way into fear right at this moment.

"I...I," I stutter over the words, so overcome by his face, contorted in love, worry, and passion.

"It's okay. Don't say anything. Just rest. I'll get you some tea," Kandel glares at Tim then releases the hand that was rubbing my back. I had almost forgotten her loving hand rubbing my back. But now that it was gone, I missed it.

"I'm fine," I croak out of my parched throat. I wanted her hand back.

"Nope," she pops the 'p' and quickly walks with long strides to the cabinets. She opens one and I see ornate crystal glasses of all sizes stacked on top of each other. Kandel grabs one and glides over to the sink. Filling it up full of water, she pushes it in the microwave.

I stare at Tim's face and I smile. I love the caressing look he has in his eyes, as if he could safely tuck me away inside his eyes so that I will never be hurt again. Oh, how I wish that would be true. Then, I get a thought. A horrible thought. What would it be like in there? Yes, it would be safe, but would I see eyes liquids or would it be dry?

I chuckle, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. Kandel glances cautiously at me, probably wondering where my sanity has gone to. But I know it has gone nowhere. Not as long as Tim was here. He would take care of me,that I know.

A buzzing sound careens across the kitchen, echoing. Flinching, I realize that we had been in total silence. Sliding the cup out of the microwave, Kandel chooses a tea packet at random and hands the tea to me.

Putting my hands around the hot cup, I relax. This little piece of warmth floods through my body as I take a small sip, trying not to burn my tongue. Feeling better, I smile at Tim. An expression of relief crosses his face, but he hides it. I don't think he wanted me to feel like there was something wrong with me.

"Thank you," I murmur through a daze. "Thank you so much!" I exclaim this time. I'm so glad for my friends. I don't know what would happen to me if I didn't have them.

They both give me a dazzling smile and I feel like I will faint. My thoughts stray from my See for that is what I will call them now. I don't like how everyone gives these words to describe what I am. I almost feel intruded upon.