Her Only Weakness ✔~ trixya

A Sorrowful Sweet Dream

"I love you."

The three words made Katya freeze and tense up, her head quickly turning into a sea of confusion. Part of her wanted to run, wanted to leave the girl right then and there. But another part of her was internally screaming in joy, and never wanted to separate from the angel standing before her.

This was her sorrowful sweet dream.
Her beautiful nightmare.

Katya had thought she was prepared for this by now, already having decided that she couldn't let Trixie slip through her fingers. But hearing the words from the doll's lips made it all so real, and suddenly the Russian could see Trixie in her mother's place, her blood pouring out on the pavement.

She couldn't let that happen.
She had to protect her angel.

Loving Trixie would be a bloodsport, but that was the destiny Katya had picked. In truth the choice had already been made and she knew that. She had been waiting on the edge of the unknown for a while but now that the words had been spoken it was time to jump off the cliff and leave the ghosts of the past behind.

"Love is strength, мой утёночек, not weakness."

The words had haunted Katya for so many years.
She had been determined that her mother had been wrong in speaking them. 
But perhaps love was not just weakness nor just strength, perhaps love in truth was both.

For in that moment, after hearing Trixie declare her love, Katya had felt stronger than ever before and yet at her most vulnerable. Maybe it was recognizing that love was both that was needed, knowing that love could grant you more power and strength than any weapon and yet needed to be protected and cared for as if it was a porcelain doll. 

"You were right мама, love is strength, but also weakness. That's what makes it so special." Katya thought to herself, wishing her mom could hear the silent sentences.

The Russian breathed deeply before she pulled the other girl to her and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. It wasn't rushed as so many of their previous kisses had been, and yet it was more revealing, both their souls slowly becoming undressed. There was no doubt of what it meant, but Katya still made herself say the words that had been locked away in her heart.

"I love you too." 

"Really?" Trixie asked, almost not believing the words leaving the woman's lips. 

"Yes, I love you, Trixie. I love you so much." Katya said before pulling the doll in for another kiss.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off of Katya's shoulders, sure the worries remained, but they paled in comparison to the pure joy of holding Trixie in her arms knowing that they truly belonged to each other. She'd gladly pay the price of worrying and protecting when she got to feel like she did around Trixie, it was as if she was floating in the clouds above, flying across the starry night sky, and no amount of rain or lightening could take away her happiness.

Maybe it was this her mother had spoken of all along?
Was it this feeling that had made it all worth it?

All the heartbreak of living in a world she didn't truly feel at home in?
All the worries about the constant danger she was living in?

Was this what she had lived for?

If so then Katya finally understood.

She had felt a need to protect Trixie ever since they met, and that need had grown as she got to know the girl, and as she started to fall. But this? This was an entirely new sensation, the feeling of loving and being loved in return, despite flaws and mistakes, despite shortcomings and failures. That feeling was unlike anything she had ever experienced and it was worth fighting for.

And she would protect it.
She would protect their love with everything she had.
Make whatever sacrifice she might need to.

Whatever it took she would protect their love.
Her love.
Trixie.

Katya was ready, she was finally ready to let love fill her completely.
Finally ready to let go of all her fears, at last realizing that a life without love was far more frightening than a life spent protecting love.