Kik | Lashton ✔

Important Note.

Okay, shit fuck I regret publishing that one earlier. I wrote that one earlier this morning while I was still hyped and is pretty blind to what was going on until my best friend texted me asking me to call her and she broke down in a fucking cinema.

Zayn's pretty much out and I feel like something is ripped from me. Something that's a part of me. This morning and last night I thought it was all bird rumors, despite my cousin crying. Oh God, everything just hurts, I can't even cry, I don't think there's a proper way to react honestly. I've been here since that stupid color coordinated outfits tour, I watched them grew up and it feels like I know them personally so this is a big deal for me. And probably to most of you too.

I was like, nah, everything's fine. I tried ignoring what's there until it actually hits me. On my concert yesterday they introduced themselves as One Direction, and I had a bad feeling. And on the concert, I also realized how unusual they are, I mean they're always jumpy and excited and has absolutely no personal boundaries whatsoever. But that night they seemed a bit off and unlike any of the other concerts in other countries I've seen from videos.

Also, before the Jakarta concert, their tweets didn't look like their usual excitement. Usually they'd tweet something about the country and stuff. But the morning before my concert all I found was Liam tweeting about how he's pretty much bored and trapped in his hotel and Niall's tweet "Got shit to do tomorrow, I mean today !"

I'm just, ugh. I don't know anymore. I'm still on stage of denial I think. I'm trying to avoid thinking about it because I'm currently rooming with three other people and I can't afford to cry, my aunt has to face her daughter crying over this, she doesn't need to see me do the same either.

My point is: Just think positive guys, even if everything is falling apart. We're here to support them no matter what. Your love cannot be undone. Be here no matter what, they're your boys, you have to trust their decisions. They're adults, they know what's best for themselves. And if Zayn wants out, then so be it.

I also think I'm gonna take a break for a while. I can't even think about this fandom without hyperventilating, and it's not in the good way either. I'm sorry. I don't think I can do this.

(I'm sorry I know this is a 5SOS book but I'm publishing this on every one of my books.)

- Lia