Instalment Forty One

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"Can you please give me moment of your time?" You've cornered me down on the football pitch when I was busy running laps, I had to clear my head. Between Zayn, you and finals, I am struggling to piece anything together and it's really starting to frustrate me.

"What do you want, Harry" I breathe out, completely exhausted. Buckling over and placing my hands on my knees as I struggle to catch my breath.

"Well, I'm guessing you have questions?" you seem nervous Harry.

"Of course, I do, but I only need one answer from you right now" everything else, for the moment I can push aside. There's one that has been on my mind and I feel like getting that answer will put me on the right path.

"You want to know where Zayn is?" I should have guessed by now you would know how to read my mind.

I nod my head in agreement.

"I don't know where he is. After you took off the other night, he left not long after and I haven't seen or heard from him since" you inform me. But I'm having a hard time believing anything that comes out of your mouth.

I roll my eyes and begin to continue along another lap.

"I understand you don't believe a word I say anymore Louis, and you have every right too, but I'm being honest" you're now running with me to keep talking.

"So, you're telling me Zayn Malik is out there in the world, what hiding? I don't believe it for a second. You used me Harry. End of story." I pick up pace a bit. Not knowing how I feel about the situation.

"And you didn't use me?!" you shout out as you keep up the pace. However, that comment stops me right in my tracks. You jog a few more steps to slow down, hands going straight to interlock on top of your head from the initial sprint.

"How did I use you?" I furrow.

"That party where you first kissed me, when I was with Zayn, you made me think it was him" you remind me.

"That's different" I rebut.

"How? You were using me to get under Zayn's skin"

I roll my eyes again. "I was not!"

"Then why would you do it?" you shout.

"Because I wanted you"

Shit.

I shouldn't have admitted that, but as soon as I've said it and popped the cap, it's like I can't stop confessing and it was coming out like word vomit before I could even stop it.

"How could you not see that Harry, from the fucking minute you got me to read fucking Wuthering Heights when you lead me to that damn library. From the moment you slammed it back in my chest that night on the school roof. How could you not know?"

It frustrates me that you think this entire time you were just a pawn piece in my game when all along I've been yours. Did you think that we were just playing each other?

"Why did you say you loved me?" I quickly add. Something else that has been on my mind since all this went down.

"What?" you shake your head in confusion at my question.

"Why Harry, did you say that you, you know, when you were just playing me the entire time?"

I can tell that your heartrate has increased, your chest is making obvious palpitations and the faintest of sweat beads make themselves present on your forehead.

"The fucking water's edge, telling me about your past, Leon, Emerson, Hugo" I list off just a small amount of the things we have been through, everything you've done knowing how this was going to end. "You could have stopped there, you didn't have to say, that" 

For some reason I can't bring myself to use the four-letter word again, it's holding too much weight and it's acting as the climax on all of this.

"I meant it" you finally speak out after silence completely took over the space around us.

But that just infuriates me more. "You literal piece of shit" I hiss before colliding both my hands roughly against your shoulders.

"How" push.

"Could" push.

"You" push.

"Be" push.

"This cruel" I finally use all the emotion I have left pulsating through my body to hurl you back as rough as I can. 

You fall to the ground behind you, catching yourself by your hands, landing on your arse but holding your gaze on me.

"Hit me as much as you like Louis, it's not going to change anything" you inform me.

I inhale a deep breath before aggressively blowing it out, not being able to contain the run of emotions I am feeling, hands gripping firmly at my hair trying to process all of this.

You remain in the submissive nature below me.

"I know what you must think of me now, I deserve it. Yes, I've been playing with fire, but I was only doing what I needed in order to survive"

I continue my back-and-forth pacing trying to both listen to your explanation but desperately trying to block any remanence of you having control over my emotions.

"I love you Louis. I fell in love with you somewhere along the way and I didn't know how to rid that feeling" you keep pushing Harry, but it isn't making any sense. I keep seeing the look in your eye once I had pieced all the pieces together last weekend. You were so cunning, and I could see the evil lingering in your eyes.

"Stop! Saying! That!" I beg, letting the heel of the palm of my hand dig deeply into my eyes, forcing a blackness in my vision that I so desperately craved.

"It's the truth Louis!" you shout back. "I'm not going to stop saying it, not now, not ever!" you bring yourself up to your feet and firmly grab my wrists in both your hands, forcing me to remove the darkness from my vision, constraining our eyes to meet.

"I had to work with Zayn, it was the only way I was going to survive all of this" you enforce to me again, hoping the determined eye contact will make more of an impact.

"Then why change your mind, why not just continue to side with Zayn, forget about me, take me down like the plan was the entire time, why are you now trying to fix everything?" I refute.

You look stunned, tensing the muscles in your jaw and letting your eyes flick back and forth between mine. The emerald in your eye slowly disappearing to grey.

"See, you can't even give me a reason, I guess loving me was just easier in your head" I go to pull away from your grip, feeling you tighten it so I can't move.

The moment I'm pulled back in front of you, you crash our lips together in immense force. Holding my jaw tightly in your control, nothing sexual surrounding the kiss, just an extreme desperation to somehow convey your feelings.

As you pull away, keeping our foreheads closely together, the faint sound of our lips parting causing my eyes to flitter open.

"I found a new reason to survive"

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served [Larry Stylinson]Where stories live. Discover now