His Words (bxb)

chapter thirty-six

Sunday, December 20, 2020

✧noah✧

I slept as soon as I got home from the hospital since that's the only way I could avoid eating. I genuinely can't stomach the sight of food after the events of Friday night, but I don't want to worry Ava and Charlotte so I keep it to myself. They'll figure me out in a few days - they always do.

I lay on bed, aimlessly staring at the ceiling and admiring the rays of early morning sunlight on it. The loud ding! of a notification causes me to flip over and check my phone.

Lij💖

come over

I knew that ignoring him last night would put him on edge, but I didn't think he would have the guts to say something to me about it for another couple of days. The tone of the text tells me that it wasn't a suggestion, so with a heavy sigh that fills up my lungs entirely with air (a feeling I haven't experienced in a while), I get up and open my closet.

After picking out an outfit that consists of a maroon turtleneck and a pair of mom jeans, I grab my coat and phone and head downstairs.

"Noah, where are you going?" a voice I recognise as Charlotte's calls out from the living room.

"Elijah's," I reply simply, not wanting to start a conversation.

"Do you want to eat something before you go? You haven't eaten breakfast yet."

"I'll be fine, Charlotte," I say as I put on my boots. When I look up, she has appeared in front of me.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened before Hanukkah," Charlotte confesses with a guilty look.

"Charlotte, can we not do this now? Please?"

"Nope, we're doing this now." She pauses for a moment before she continues. "It was rude to suggest what we suggested when your biological mother is still in your life. It was weird and uncalled for. I guess we got so excited with the idea of making you an official part of our family that we forgot to acknowledge how you felt about it, so... I'm sorry."

"Okay. Thank you for the apology, Charlotte," I say quickly before I make my way towards the door. I don't have the energy for this conversation right now.

"That doesn't mean I take back any of what I said," Charlotte adds. "I hate the idea of you not being in our lives anymore in less than two months."

I don't know what to say to that, so I simply nod my head. "Bye, Charlotte. I'll be back before the sun is down."

"Bye, sweetie. Have fun!"

Elijah's front door opens before I even get a chance to knock. He must have been sitting on the couch facing the window, waiting for my arrival. In front of me stands Elijah with a stern look that lets me know he is not pleased with the way I ghosted him the past two days. Nonetheless, he steps aside and lets me in.

"Hey," I greet sheepishly as I take off my coat and hang it up.

"Hey? Hey?! You ghost your friends all weekend and that's what you have to say for yourself?" Elijah must notice the look of confusion that crosses my face because he adds, "I texted Mason last night. He said he texted you, too, and you haven't been replying. Seriously, what is up with you, Noah? Are you okay? Have you been eating and sleeping and taking your meds?"

"Those are three questions with three separate answers, Lij. What is up with me? Nothing. Am I okay? When am I ever, Elijah? Have I been eating, sleeping and swallowing six pills a day to keep the sad away? Yes... I don't know what to tell you. What do you want me to say?"