His Words (bxb)

chapter thirty-three

Sunday, November 29, 2020

✧elijah✧

"Is gift-giving a common Hanukkah tradition?" I ask, looking up from my laptop screen. I was sat on my bed looking on a bunch of online stores for gifts before remembering I should probably ask if it's even an okay thing to do. I've never been close with anyone who celebrates Hanukkah, so this whole experience is quite new from me.

Noah places his bookmark on the page he was reading and sets his book aside, giving me his full attention. "Traditionally, no," he says from my desk. "But it's become common in a lot of Western households."

"Was it common in your household?"

Noah responds with a nostalgic smile. "Yeah... it was." I watch as he gives me a curious look. "Why are you asking?"

"Nothing," I shrug with a cheeky smile that gives it all away.

Noah gets up from the chair and waddles over to my bed. I close the tab immediately as he rests his head on my lap and I stare down at his smiling face and sparkling blue eyes.

"To be honest, I don't know what to get you yet, but I have a couple ideas." I kiss the tip of Noah's nose when I hear him let out a childish groan. "Hanukkah is in ten days," I say. "You'll survive."

A few minutes later, Noah is still laying on my lap as I caress his now shoulder-length hair, occasionally planting small kisses on his face then pulling back to admire the wild blush on his cheeks.

"How was the support group meeting yesterday?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"The usual. I got to talk to Gus a little bit more. He's not too bad," Noah responds vaguely.

Minutes later, Noah speaks again. "I told Mason about the hospital when I went over on Monday."

My hand freezes, my fingers still in his hair as I register what my boyfriend just told me. I examine his facial features, searching for anything that will tell me how he's feeling right now. Noah's warm hand rests on mine and he guides my hand to keep stroking his hair.

"It's okay, Elijah. It wasn't bad. I just wanted you to know," he says softly as he closes his eyes and hums in content as I continue playing with his hair.

"You know..." I say cautiously, "we never actually spoke about what happened that night."

"You heard everything there is to know when the cops came for that interview," Noah explains with a puzzled look.

"Yea, I know... I know the facts of what happened, but I never got to hear- I don't know, I just feel like there's more to talk about."

"Elijah, this isn't me recalling a trip to the grocery store and giving you all the details and gossip. This is serious-"

"Yeah, I know," I interrupt, stopping the conversation before it even starts. "I'm sorry. That was insensitive. I just feel like-"

"You're my boyfriend and you don't like that you know just as much as everyone else does," Noah states in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Is that so wrong to think?"

"I don't owe you anything, Elijah. I don't owe anyone anything. I'm your boyfriend, but I was Noah Cohen first. That doesn't mean I don't care for you deeply and treasure you with all my heart, that just means that I recognise that I am my own person with boundaries, too. Maybe one day I'll be comfortable enough to talk to you about it and even make jokes about it, but I'm far from that right now. I hope you can accept that."