The Model's Bodyguard (Romantic Suspense) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15 - Full Control

ATTENTION: So sorry for the wait. I'm a loser. Anyway, the reason to the lately late updates is based upon the fact that my other story, TTA, which used to be my main priority, is coming to an end within three chapters and I've been working on wrapping the story up. Why? *Drumroll* Because as soon as it's done I'll only be working on one story! Meaning updates for TMB will be quite often and quick! Just give me a little while and updates will come piuring down like water.

Thanks for patience and please stick with me! 

Laters, baby! :D <3

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Five Days Later

I laid in my bed, my eyes opened into the darkness of the night. My room was pitch black, no remnants of moonlight managing to peer in through the closed window blinds. I couldn’t fall asleep, for thoughts of today’s events and what would await me tomorrow were keeping me awake and uneasy. It was exactly six days after my mother’s death and today had been her funeral. Tomorrow would be her burial. I, for one, was not in control of my emotions or thoughts, for I did not know what to think or how to react without seeming too broken or too heartless. If I let myself truly give in to instinct and let my heart take over then I didn’t know if I would remain sane for much longer. I had to tell myself that I was fine and that no one thought me weak in order to be able to pull through. If I acted as correctly as possible then maybe people would believe I was strong. And maybe I would believe it myself. The process was agonizing but the effect was rewarding; I was able to go through the day without lapsing into a fit of depression. 

A sudden chill racked my spine and reached down to my toes, making them curl in response. I turned around in the bed and pulled the sheets closer to me, hating the feeling of the chill as it left me shivering. It kept me awake for longer and thus, let my mind wander. 

I remembered my mother’s funeral that had taken place only hours earlier. It was a small and private affair, only attended by our closest family and friends. Thirty-five people had expressed their condolences to me with utmost sincerity and I... I had only nodded and given them a monotonous ‘thank you’. I could do no more. I had felt numb and unforgiving, consumed by a fit of anger toward the world for having taken the person who meant the most to me. At other times I had been consumed by disbelief. Others by sadness and grief. Cisco had been and would remain the only witness of my true disposition, thus implying how I had tried my hardest to remain as cool and collected as possible on the exterior to everyone who truly didn’t matter or didn’t matter enough.  

It felt as if everyone had been watching me this evening, expecting me to break down and cause a scene before them but I never did. I had cried, of course, holding Cisco’s hand like a lifeline and leaning on him for support. In a way, that had been enough to show people just how hurt I was. In any normal circumstance, my heart would be on my sleeve. But when I was truly upset, truly broken, then I tried my best to withdraw from the pain that was so inevitable because it felt like less to carry on my shoulders. So it was no surprise when I had refused my cousin Molly’s and my closest friend Tina’s proposal of lunch and soothing massages. I had smiled softly and shaken my head, kindly refusing and saying I’d rather be alone. They didn’t press me any further, for they knew me too well. 

But nobody knew about Cisco. They watched him as if he was a part of some alien invasion that had impended New York City with its foreign beauty. They watched, confused and surprised. I didn’t know if I should’ve been offended. Did I not seem capable of being desired by a man such as he? I didn’t care enough to dwell on it, it only bothered me for a moment, is all. I remembered how they watched him, almost felt their thoughts go on overdrive before settling on the conclusion that we were something more. Cisco and I had made no effort to divert their conclusions and tell them he was only my bodyguard, strictly business, so when anyone asked, very subtly, for an introduction we gave them a false one, saying he was my boyfriend of only two months. We had spoken about the possibility of having to introduce him to questioning family members and made an agreement- more like I agreed to his command- that we would say he was my boyfriend so that we’d not meddle with my ‘security’. I hadn’t minded but quite disturbingly found myself wondering how it would be if the introductions were true.