Thomas's Sanity (Thomas Sanders/Sander Side Fan Fic)

~~~ 9 ~~~

It has been three weeks since Patton told me about what Janus was doing and it seemed like Roman was now over being mad with Patton. Apparently, Patton gave up on fighting Janus and Roman felt betrayed but they seemed to have made up now. Though that didn't seem to be the only thing that was bothering me. What was bothering me is that San has been MIA and I was starting to feel less of her presence. That is also worrying because the less of her presence that is felt then the less Sanity Thomas has.

Speaking of Thomas I noticed him looking a bit worse too with the long nights and lack of sleep affecting him. He has been trying to keep himself occupied with figuring out the next Sander Side scripts but I could see his health was slacking. His skin was pale, huge bags were under the lids and his eyes looked bloodshot. He would be up until 5 am most nights then just sleeps to 2 pm and it has been harder for me because the anxiety he is feeling is also coming from me. I am trying hard not to push it out but it's starting to boil over most days.

Honestly, I looked much worse than Thomas did but I had my eyeshadow to block any signs of exhaustion or sleep deprivation. I haven't slept in weeks because every time I tried to relax a bit that pain would come and I would know it's the door. They are trying to break me down. They all know if I go down then San has no one to stop them and without me, Thomas and the others will face his wrath. I couldn't let that happen.

Soon an aching feeling hit my chest and I knew that was the door so standing up heading to check. Looking out like clockwork the door was open, it was night time so everyone was asleep for the most part but I wasn't. Moving down the hallway I saw the door opened ajar again. Sighing I repeated the same process that I've been doing, I took the door and closed it again. Though now every time I touched it I could feel more of my energy being stolen.

Once I knew it was going to stay closed for now I headed back to my room, I knew maybe I should check on Thomas to see if he is at least trying to sleep or something. So I passed my room then quietly passed the others who were all asleep in their rooms; dreaming and feeling safe. Hoisting my hood up and digging my hands into my pockets I moved to the stairwell. Syncing out of the mind palace and to the real world, I noticed that the whole place looked a bit tousled over. Things were scattered around the living room and Thomas sat in the crease of the couch with his laptop on his lap. He also had headphones on his ears so he didn't hear my presence but I also didn't want him to know that I was there so I remained hidden in the shadows. What I saw was that Thomas remained the same as he did the previous few weeks. Exhausted and stressed out with no cause. Sighing I synced back out before he could notice and pinned my back towards the nearby wall taking my face into my hands.

"San, where are you?" I whispered to myself before slinking back into my room and sitting on the edge of my bed. I knew I had to be strong but every day now feels more like a chore to even stay awake. I just really hoped that San was okay.