A Book Of UnderTale Oneshots But It's mostly Sans suffering

If Sans Was In Horror Movies (Part 1/?)

Summary: Sans is OP in Horror Movies

If Sans was in 'Saw' and 'It Chapter 2'

~

"Ughhh Where am I..." Sans groaned. He looked around, and he finally noticed the thing strapped to his head. It was a weird contraption, seemingly made of metal. "Hello, Sans. I want to play a game. So far in your life you've been nothing but lazy, watching others do the work for you. I call you unworthy of the body you posses. The device around your neck is a death mask. The mask is on a spring timer. If you do not locate the key in time, the mask will close. Think of it like a Venus Flytrap. But, because you are at a disadvantage, I will give you a hint. Listen carefully. It's right before your eyes. Live or die, make your choice, Sans."

Sans stayed silent for a few moments, still processing the information. "Alright... Uh... Right before my eyes? First of all, sockets, jerk. Second, well why the heck would I care about looking?" Sans summoned a bone and began to pick the lock. When the lock was picked, the contraption had barely moved. "Anyways, I'd like to get home." Sans teleported back to his house, just in time for some spaghetti. John watched the feed, silent. The only monster he'd ever trapped, and they finished the task with magic. He decided to leave the skeleton, what was the point of trying to convince him when he could just pick locks with mini bones and teleport?

TL;DR: Sans destroys Jigsaw's challenge

~If Sans Was in It~

He and Frisk were walking in the rain, Frisk playing with a boat they made together. The duo were having a nice time playing in the rain. Until Frisk tripped and dropped the boat. Frisk let out a gasp and began chasing the boat, forcing Sans to chase them. "Kiddo! You can't just run off like that!" Sans panted after Frisk slowed down at a sewer drain. "it fell down..." Frisk said sadly, looking at the large, open sewer drain. "...Damn it. Whatever, we can just make a new one." Sans replied lazily, not feeling like crawling down a sewer drain with the kid. Frisk gave Sans a harsh glare. "No! We're going to get that one back! It's special!" They claimed with a determined look. Sans sighed and slapped his skull. "Frisk, it's just a boat. We can make a new one. You don't need to be-ACK!" Sans yelped, seeing a random clown appear out of nowhere. "Seriously Undyne? Good Asgore, that's enough with the sewer pranks!" Sans groaned, rolling his eyes at the creepy clown. "Heya Frisky." The clown said, defiantly not in one of Undyne's fake voices. 

"Great, another clown! Isn't Mettaton bad enough?" Sans grunted, not in the mood for any bullcrap. All he wanted to do was get that boat back, and continue to make an awkward relationship with the previous genocidal brat. "What a nice boat..." The clown trailed off. "Thanks! Me and my friend Sans made it!" Frisk proclaimed, making Sans snap his skull to the kid. "Kiddo, you don't go telling names to a random sewer clown." Sans stated, glaring at the clown. 

"Do you want the boat back?" Mr. Clown boi asked. "Oh! yes please!" Frisk said, leaning down to the sewer drain to see the clown better. "Frisk, Tori would kill me if she saw you talking to a strange clown. "You look like nice kids." The clown said, making Sans fall back inn sadness. "I AM NOT A FRICKEN KID!" He shouted, making Frisk wince. The clown ignored Sans and said, "Do you want a balloon?" Frisk froze and looked back at Sans, who was allowing water to drip into his skull. "Well, I'm not allowed to take things from strangers..." They trailed off.

"Well I'm Pennywise, the dancing clown!" Frisk gave an awkward smile, getting an odd feeling.  "Nice name, can we have the boat back so we can leave?" Pennywise stared at Sans with his lifeless smile. "B!tch I can do a lifeless smile too!" Sans copied his smile, making Frisk glance at him with confusion.  "Now we aren't strangers!" Sans saw where this was heading and glared at Pennywise. "Alright kiddo, time to go." He proclaimed, grabbing Frisk's hand. "But what about your boat?" Pennywise asked quickly, holding up the boat. "Yeah dunkle? What about our boat?" Frisk added, wiggling their arm out of Sans's grasp. 

"Take it." Pennywise whispered, holding it out further. Frisk was about to reach their hand down when Sans slapped it. 

-1hp

"Frisk you do NOT shove your hand down a sewer drain!" Sans scolded, glaring at the clown. Pennywise frowned and looked at the skeleton. "Then you take it." He whispered. Sans shovered at the clown and reached his hand down. 

And then it was bit off by the clown.

Everyone stared as Sans pulled his arm out of the clown's mouth slowly. "That was very nice of you." Sans grumbled, staring at his dusted arm. "It's gonna take weeks for this to reform!" He added angrily. The clown spit out the dust and grabbed Sans's leg, pulling him into the sewer. Sans shouted and there was a thud. "SANS!" Frisk screamed. There was magic attacks and shouting. Frisk listened.

"B!TCH YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DRAG THE ROYAL JUDGE INTO THE SEWERS AND EAT HIM? B!TCH I'LL F*CK YOU UP!" Sans screeched. Frisk heard more shouts. "I DON'T GIVE A FRICK THAT YOU'RE FRICKEN TRANSFORMING INTO PAPYRUS! I'VER HAD TO FIGHT MYSELF BEFORE, COME AT ME BRO AHHHHHHH!"

After lots of screaming and shouting, Sans popped out of the sewer. He was sweating and holding the boat. "Alright kiddo, that butthole won't be bothering us anymore. Let's just go home now."

Pennywise sat in the sewer, confused. Did he just get his invincible butt kicked by a short skeleton? 

TL;DR: Clown tries to eat Sans, gets his butt kicked.