Try And Stop Me (Girlxgirl)

Three

Michelle

I heard her before I could see her. The gate opened and then I heard her striding across the hard wood floor into our shared apartment. Her foot steps were really quiet, like they always were, but I'd been living with her long enough to know when she was trying to sneak around, or even when she was just walking from place to place.

It used to worry me that she was always so deceptive and quiet, but now, it only sickens me. I wasn't okay with her chosen occupation, but then again, who would be? I don't even think she was okay with it. I doubt she knew what she was doing most of the time. It was all just revenge to her. Something to make her sleep better at night. If only she slept at night.

I left the stool I sat upon and laid my paint brush down on the paper towel and newspaper I had laid down on the table I'd pushed over to the window. It always helped me to look out of the window when I painted. It made my creative juices flow. I know I probably had paint on my face and in my hair. I was always so messy with it. Taylor complained, but I think she secretly liked seeing me a mess.

I padded across the living room barefoot and into the big open walkway that led into the kitchen, the closet, and the bedroom. I always thought it was too plain but Taylor hesitated on getting a rug, thinking that I'd probably spill paint on it. I was a bit of a klutz when it came to that sort of thing. She was always thinking ahead and that's what I liked about her, except for the fact that for the most part, she was stuck in the past. She held a couple of bags in her hands and she was walking into the kitchen. I crossed my arms over my chest and followed curiously.

"What's all that?" She turned and smiled at me. It didn't reach her eyes and she was holding something behind her back. "What are you holding?" I asked, pointing to her arms. She produced a bag from behind her back. It was from one of those fancy underwear shops in the mall.

"I wanted to make you dinner tonight. And also, I bought you some stuff." I took the bag cautiously from her hands and stepped forward, getting on my tippy toes and planting a kiss on her cheek. "Well you've been gone all day long. And you weren't answering your phone." She shrugged. "I had things to do."

"So many things that you couldn't even answer the phone to tell me about them?" Taylor turned around and gripped the edge of the counter with both her hands. "I'm sorry, alright? I just needed some time alone to...decompress after therapy and I thought I'd do something a little more romantic than a movie for date night, you know?"

I watched her back tense and her knuckles turn white as she gripped the edge of the counter even harder in her grasp. I was afraid she'd break the counter, if it didn't break her first. I set the bag down on the island and wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing myself against her, laying my head against her back. I could hear the familiar beating of her heart; irregular and overworked, in my ear.

"I understand. I'm sorry. You needed some time, and hey, I think it's wonderful that you want to cook me dinner. I just think that next time you should come straight home because I don't like it when you're gone forever. It makes me think you're never coming back."

It was true. There were several times I would wake up and she'd be gone for weeks and I would be left to my own devices and scared that she'd really left me this time. I didn't know how much she cared for me, it was never certain. She told me she loved me, although not very often and she'd always treat me like her queen when she got the chance, but I didn't know if it was all an act or not. She was so good at acting. So good at hiding.

When we'd first met, I knew that she was the one for me. Innocent and hurt, like a wounded animal. I'd wanted to scoop her up into my arms, but I could tell she wasn't ready for that. When she came to me a year later, I'm not even sure if I should have let her into my bed. Or my heart. Or my arms. But I did, and it was a small price to pay for getting to call her mine.