alive - tommyinnit

29

.: {🐝} :.

"...and then he kissed me on the cheek and left! i don't know what to do, and i don't know if he even meant what he said! i just.. don't want to force him into anything, or force any labels on him, and i feel like maybe that's what i've been doing all along."

you whispered into your phone, biting back tears as you confided into the device. it was almost 3 am, and you'd found yourself in a private discord with ranboo and tubbo talking about the recent events with tommy. you snuggled up under the blanket, looking around the dimly-lit room and admiring the little moonlight that spilled in through your window.

"well.."

"Y/N, can i be honest with you?"

tubbo cut off ranboo's thought, quickly grabbing your attention.

"um, sure..?"

you fiddled on your bed nervously, wondering what he'd say. it was quiet for a moment, before his discord icon began to light up again.

"tommy has always been interested in you. well, at first it wasn't romantic, but after you two got closer... he started to change."

you raised an eyebrow but remained silent, hoping he'd continue.

"like, he began to talk about you all. the. time. it was always 'did you see what Y/N did today?' or 'guys look what Y/N sent me!' he always found a way to worm you into the conversation, and it was kinda sweet."

ranboo hummed in agreement, and you felt yourself begin to flush again.

"but after your accident... he shut down."

your face fell again. you knew something happened concerning him and the accident, and now you only feared the worst.

"i don't know if you know this, but you and him were on call right when it happened. he heard everything, and it really messed with him. he started declining our calls, barely got on discord, he even ignored wilbur!"

"whatever he'd heard had really put his life in another perspective, and the first time we did call him was months after it'd happened. he sounded broken, like all the life had been sucked out of him, and he was so eager to try and see you again. i tried to go visit also, but my mum had my great-grandma over at the time so I couldn't, but wilbur did and did a pretty damn good job of being with him from what you've said so far."

you grew more anxious as he spoke: tommy had heard everything? he had to be the one screaming in your flashback then, it'd explain why he had so much trouble talking about it then. the thought that tommy had become so un-tommy like after your accident baffled you, and you began to wonder maybe it'd been you making it seem more difficult than it needed to be.

"it's been 2 days since he left your place Y/N, i suggest you talk to him about all this. holding in your feelings isn't going to do anything good in the long run, unless you consider emotional pain to be good."

ranboo added on as you let out a sigh. he was right, you needed to talk it out and clarify things with tommy. no matter how much you really did not want to, you'd just have to put on your big kid pants and push through.