Paramour | 𝗥𝗼𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗼𝗿

Grace's Diary: Entry #1.3

PART THREE

"I can't take it anymore", I heard Freddie say as we just got our food. "Can't you just two talk it out? Shag or something", He looked at me and then at Roger. "It is just so weird, Grace's acting as if she's not even here and Roger's puppy eyes are sickening me"

I tensed up in my seat and looked at Freddie. "Freddie..."

"For real! You two love each other and all that shit, isn't just easy to say I love you and those kinds of things to work it out?", he said, fed up. Brian and Deaky were so uncomfortable they couldn't look at us.

"Sometimes, those things aren't enough", I simply said, taking my fork to eat my food as Roger finally spoke up.

"What is enough, then?", he said, raising his voice and looking at me, annoyed. "What is it that you want from me?"

"Let's just eat", I said, lowly again, looking at my plate.

"No... Grace, what it is that you want?", Roger demanded.

I finally looked up at him. I wasn't doing this here and now. Not this way, at least. Not when my mind wasn't even clear.

"Let's not do this now", I pleaded.

"I can't take it, you're quiet, you look down and that damn bruise in your forehead, it's driving me crazy!", Roger said, then he took a long sip of his whiskey.

"There you go again...", I said lowly.

"What?"

"Guys, let's not fight here", Brian warned wisely.

"I lost my appetite", I stood up, leaving the napkin in the table and then taking my bag with me. 

"Grace...", I heard them pleading, but I felt hot tears coming down my face once again. God, what is wrong with me?

I felt anger, true anger as I came out of the restaurant, putting my coat quickly as I hailed a cab.

"Grace", Roger's voice made me lower my arm.

"What?", I asked him rudely, looking at him, wiping my tears quickly.

He hugged me and feeling his warmth made me cry even more. My arms instinctively wrapped his torso as he ran his hand over my hair. We stood there for a few minutes as I kept crying. I felt all kinds of emotions rushing past me, but I didn't want things to end between us. I love him, I really do. But I don't know if I'm okay with the things he does.

"I'm sorry, I haven't been good to you", he whispered, I pushed him back a little, looking at him and shaking my head.

"You're good to me, but it's just that we're not in the same page right now", I said, he pouted and wiped my tears. "I'm too greedy, I just want things that maybe are not for us right now"

"No, Grace, I get high almost every night and drink too much. I can't help it if I have admirers, but I should never disrespect you like that, you should not be worried about me wronging you, I should not give you reasons to think I wrong you", Roger said as we were looking at each other intently.

"Roger, I feel bad", I told him honestly. "I-I think I want to go home"

His face was even sadder after I said it. "You want to go home?", he asked softly, wiping my tears.

"I don't want us to be apart, but I don't feel good being here right now"

He nodded and then hugged me again, my nose on his neck, his perfume was strong and I loved it. 

"Go home, then, I'll be back as soon as this thing ends and maybe then...", he swallowed hard.

"Maybe then..."