The Boy With The Irish Accent

Chapter 24- Where Did That Boy Go?

"Bloody hell Tanya! What are you doing?" Niall yelped.

To be honest, I didn't know. I couldn't think of a reason why I had just cut myself. But it felt good doing it, so I did it. It eased the pain.

"Give me the razor Chika, please?" Bree whispered.

I shook my head in response and slid it against my opposite wrist, bringing blood once again. This time it hurt, a lot. I scrunched my eye brows as I gazed down at my bleeding wrists. The pain shot through y wrists like a kick in the gut. It felt like my arms were on fire. The sheer pain and stinging of the cuts drove more tears from my eyes.

"Please Tanya, please give that to me" Niall pleas.

The blade slipped from my fingers because of the blood and clanged on the floor. My scarlet blood was now pooling in the floor, drip by drip. I simply watched it well up on my arms, only to get heavy and slide off. The warm liquid's scent wafted up to my nostrils and I breathed it in deeply. It smelt good, in a coppery sort of way. Something flashed in my peripheral vision and I glanced to my right to see what it was. It was my reflection in the mirror, only it didn't look like me.

The girl in the mirror had dark bags under her wild looking eyes. The colour of her eyes were barely visible around the dark black pupils. Her skin was pail and pasty, her hair, stringy and limp. The only colour on this girl was the scarlet lines running up her arms. Once again the blood was welling up and beginning to fall.

There was a loud thud outside the door, pulling my gaze away from the mirror. Niall was inching closer and closer to me. Concern and tears filled his sea green eyes. I looked over his shoulder and saw Bree on her knees with her head in her hands. Why is all this happening? My mother never did anything for us. Bree barely knew my mom because mom was always in rehab or locked in her room.

"Bree?" I croak.

Her head snapped up, "Chika?"

"Whats wrong?"

"Tanya look at your arms. You are in no position to be asking that question." Bree stated simply, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing! Bloody hell Tanya, that's not nothing!" Niall wailed suddenly, "Your bleedin buckets!"

His tone took me by surprise. There was nothing wrong with me. The pain in my wrists is just a dull sting now, it really is nothing. I'm fine. I did what I had to do and now I'm fine.

"Niall, drop it." I mutter.

"Tanya, you’re white as a ghost and still bleeding! I'm taking you to the hospital." he declared.

He studied my expression for a moment and then said, "Right now, Bree start the car."

I sighed deeply. Clearly there was no way to change his mind when he has it set to something. I watched as he shuffled over to the shower and turned on the water. He motioned for me to put my arms under the shower head and I reluctantly obeyed. The water sent shocks through my body as in seeped into my cuts. If I had any tears left in my body I would have cried. All I could do was bite my lip to stop myself from screaming.

I noticed Niall was slowly going pale at the sight of all the blood, "Turn it off please" I murmur.

"Here wrap your arms in this." he says offering me a towel from the closet.

We then head downstairs and into the garage. Cody, Josh, and a very sick looking Bree are already in the car waiting. All three of them were sitting in the back seat. Cody looks at me with a scared expression that mirrors Josh's. Bree is staring out the window with tear streaming down her face.

I sigh, "You guys are making a big deal out of nothing."

"Tanya, shut up and get in the damn car." Bree snaps, "You’re going to the hospital if you want to or not."

I slide into the car and glare at her, "Hey, where's Harry?"

A pained look flashes in her eyes. Oops.

"Beats me." she mutters.

~*~

The drive to the hospital had been awkward and silent, aside from Brianne's quiet sobs. Harry hadn't called or texted and Niall was starting to get pissed. His reserved attitude scared me a little. It was a side that I had never seen and I'm not sure I like it.

I am now laying in the hospital bed, staring at the pure white walls and listening to the obnoxious beeping of my heart monitor. Again. When I had complained to Niall and Bree about the noise they had reminded me that the beeping is a good thing and left. They haven't visited since but I can hear them talking to the doctors in the hall.

I slowly slid my eyes shut in an attempt to get some sleep. Only to be awakened again from the click of the door. I looked up to see Niall walk in and pull a chair over beside me. His hair is messy and his eyes are swollen and red. His stripped shirt was crumpled and tear stains were faintly visible. He looked tired and beaten.

"Sorry to wake you." he murmured quietly.

I sigh deeply, "You didn't. The monitor was doing a pretty good job of that."

His expression softened, "Are you hungry love?"

"Not really." I mumble, "I want to go home."

He sighed and leaned forward in his chair. He grabbed my hand gingerly and kissed my palm lightly, "Soon babe, I promise."

The doctor had cleaned my cuts to make sure they wouldn't get infected. She hadn't asked any questions as to why or how I got them, she just did her job and left. She has also given me a few different kinds of pain medication that I wasn't supposed to take unless absolutely necessary. I haven't taken any yet. The cuts didn't really hurt that much anymore. They had stopped bleeding and were starting to slowly scab over.

Suddenly the door swung open again and the doctor herself stepped in.

"Hello Tanya," she said with a wide grin, " How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess. I just want to go home."

"Sweetie, you'll be going home shortly." she promised, "We just need to take a few tests. You can sleep through them if you like."

~*~

I had managed to sleep through the tests. I have never been a fan of needles. I have a phobia of things that cut into my skin. Ironically, I was only in the hospital because I had actually cut myself with a razor. The doctor had said that there will probably be scaring during the healing process and that it should only take roughly 3 to 4 weeks to heal completely.

We were all driving home now. Harry still hasn't shown up. Bree tried texting him a few minutes ago but he hasn't answered.

"Why did he leave?" I asked softly, "Where did he go?"

"He hates blood and he hates conflict." Niall muttered simply, "But most of all, he hates looking weak."

"What would make him look weak?" Bree yelped.

Niall jabbed his thumb in Bree's direction "You."

"Excuse you?" she spits.

"He doesn't want you to see him in his time of weakness. There was no way he could have kept his composure if he had seen Tanya cutting herself. There was no way he could have been strong for you. So he left." he explained.

The boys in the backseat were listening contently. When we pulled into the driveway they jumped out and rushed into the car; leaving the three of us to continue our conversation.

"How could he possibly know she was going to cut?" Brianne sighs.

"That's the million dollar question."