dead to me| 2- s. r

TWELVE

WARNINGS: mentions of abortion

"Care to explain these, Y/N?"

You laugh awkwardly to mask the fear you're feeling, despite not knowing why. You've had those for ages, surely Spencer can't know why you had them in the first place, but the way he's looking at you is suggesting he does.

"That doesn't look like a toothbrush to me, Spencer. Are you sure you're the genius here?" He doesn't smile in the least, pulling the box away when you make a grab for it, holding it out of your reach.

"Why do you have these?"

You roll your eyes, "I don't know, I guess I like to pee on sticks for fun," you snap back sarcastically. "Seriously, Spencer? You know why I have them."

"Were you pregnant?"

Your breath catches in your throat and you hold your breath, trying to keep your facial expressions under control as to not make him pick up on them, even though he surely has already. You scoff, "Does it look like I have a child running around here?"

"That didn't answer my question."

"Jesus, Spencer. I had a scare and I went and bought a test, okay!" He holds the box above his head when you make a grab for it again, really not in the mood to go through this conversation with him. Ever.

"Was it when we were together?"

"No!" You reply back, becoming slightly frustrated with him.

He scoffs in disbelief, shaking his head, "I know you're lying to me," he replies back, making you tense up, glancing at him in shock. "Want to know how?" You're frozen in place, unable to speak as Spencer turns the box around, pointing to the expiration date on the box. "The average shelf life of pregnancy tests is around two to three years. This box expired around two years ago, meaning that you most likely would have bought these when we were together. Am I wrong?"

You're stunned into silence, meeting Spencer's eyes as he finally places the box down on the counter, gesturing calmly to your body language. "Your demeanour alone is enough to confirm my suspicions and the fact that you look like you've just seen a ghost is making me think that the test was positive. Tell me if I'm wrong here, Y/N."

You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair, "I, uh- yeah. It sounds like you got it all right," you murmur, avoiding his eyes.

"Did you know you were pregnant when you broke up with me?" You nod your head sheepishly, not sure what to make of Spencer's strangely calm tone. "Was it mine?"

You snap your head up toward him, slightly offended by the implication. "Of course it was yours, Reid. I was loyal to you, but I guess that only made one of us," you snap rather harshly, clenching your fists at your side.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He doesn't sound angry or upset, just genuinely confused, and in shock from what you can tell. You're happy that he doesn't seem angry, especially since he has no right to be, it was ultimately your decision and he wouldn't have affected it whatsoever.

"You can't seriously be asking me that," you deadpan, seeing his serious expression remain, not faltering in the least. You sigh, "Spencer, in the span of twenty-four hours I found out that I'd been cheated on and almost died. I was betrayed by two people who I cared about deeply, and a pregnancy was the last thing I needed on my plate. I wasn't in the right mind to raise a child four years ago, not when I could barely take care of myself."

"So you just had a-a-" He pauses, glancing at you for confirmation, seeing the distraught look on your face. It's almost like he's afraid to say the word "abortion," like he doesn't want to come to terms with it. To answer the question for him, you reply with "I had an abortion." Spencer inhales sharply, rubbing his temples and pinching his eyes shut. You keep your eyes on him, trying to use whatever profiling skills you still remember to get even the smallest glimpse at what he may be feeling right now.