It wasn't meant to be ✔️

Chapter 9

"Then it's decided" he said with a huge smile. "We will get married at the time of Asr today. Your mums funeral is at Zuhr which is in an hour. So why don't you get all your things together and I'll drop them off at my house."

"Yeah let's do that." I still had an unsure feeling in my heart about this Nikah then I remember that my mum wanted to me to do this. Who was I to refuse her? My dead mum.

A tear slipped then another and I was again crying my heart out. I wanted her to be here to see this that her other children were back that I was fulfilling her wish.

I wanted her back.

Ismail grabbed my shoulders and pulled me closer to him and enveloped me in a soothing hug. I wasn't in my right mind and I just let him, he was helping me in a way that no one else could. He knew how I struggled and how I was in so much pain. And he was there. He was there whispering sweet nothings into my ear. He was there and no one else was.

I finally calmed down. My loud sobs turned into mere whimpers. My shaking arms and legs became still. My breathing now stable. I looked up at him and whispered "thank you". He looked down at me and smiled, a genuine one. "There's no need to thank me. I'm your to-be husband. This is my duty. To help you and pick you up when you are down. To support you through your tough times. Now give me a smile."

I ignored the hurt of my heart and stretched my lips into a smile. "Now that's my girl." He said with a wider grin. "Now I wanted to talk to you about your meher. How much or what would you like in your meher?"

I thought for a while. I have to be smart because this meher could be my only support at one point. I replied "a flat or a house and £15k. Would you be able to afford that or shall I lower it?"

"I can afford that but £15k doesn't seem like enough how about £30k? And I'll get you a flat here and one in..." he trailed off. "One in where...?" I questioned. "Nowhere, nowhere." He retorted quickly.

"Ok that's fine. Let's go back it's near the janazah time."

"Oh, one thing Ayla don't feel guilty, she wanted this to happen. You deserve some sort of happiness and I wish to give it to you. In sha Allah." He gave me a heart melting smile.

"In sha Allah" I echoed.

We headed back to my house where I packed a suitcase of clothes for myself. I picked up a scarf my mum often wore, I think it was her favourite. I brought the scarf to my nose and inhaled her scent. It was like she was here with me, sat next to me. But she wasn't. She never ever will. My tears restarted as I folded that scarf and placed it in my suitcase. I grabbed some other essentials, zipped the bag and went outside to put it in Ismail's car. Only to be stopped by my aunt. She wore a sad expression and gave me a velvet box. "What is this?" I ask bitterly.

"Your wedding present from your mum" I almost dropped to the floor. "What?" "She told me if she wasn't able to attend your Nikah for whatever reason to be sure to give you this gift from her." Tears started streaming down my face yet again, this pain was never going to ease, was it? I thought to myself.

I opened it and there lie a beautiful diamond necklace. Something elegant yet classy. Something eye catching yet not too blingy. It was just perfect. She knew me so well. Obviously. I was her child. Caught in my duh moment I didn't realise my siblings had gathered around me marvelling at my gift from her. Jealousy from the older sister. Awe from the younger but nothing from my brother. He had a expression plastered on his face suggesting he was faraway from us, in his head.

Ismail walked into the house and smiled at me before grabbing my suitcase and making his way to his car.

It was time...

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