It wasn't meant to be ✔️

Chapter 4

"I'm not not going to win this am I?" I questioned, even though I already knew the answer. He gently took hold of my chin and lifted my face so my eyes were looking straight into his. "You're never going to win against me. Not today, not tomorrow never." His voice was unnervingly calm, his threat seemed like a challenge to me. "I accept," I said profoundly. "What?" He looked at me like I was crazy "I accept your challenge. We'll see who wins this game." I got up, grabbed my shopping bags and walked towards my house. He wasn't behind me when I reached my door, I sighed in relief. I realised I shouldn't have done so too soon, the same rough grip grabbed my arm. And pinned me to the wall next to the door. He was once again gripping my wrists harshly, his breath fanning my cheek and his body pressed against mine. Why was he so obsessed with pressing me against walls? What a weirdo.

"You do realise that I. Will. Win. I will use every nook and cranny and you'll be mine." His eyes then softened and he started to caress my cheek. I moved my cheek so he couldn't touch my face. His eyes darkened and he grabbed my chin, "I will touch you however I like got it?"

"No you won't," I stated, whilst taking steps towards him as he was receding backwards. Ha! Wasn't he the one that was threatening me two seconds ago. "Your not my mehram and you never will be. Got it?" He straightened his posture and snarled "this is rich coming coming from the slutty bartender. Weren't you sitting on me and flirting that night, trying to get tips from me?" I took a deep breath "I never moved from behind that bar, so keep your disgusting names to yourself." I spat back. "Ok, ok easy tiger. I promise I'll only touch when you are in my Nikah. Deal?"

"That's never going to happen." I retorted. Next thing I knew I was pulled towards him, my hands in his chest and I was looking anywhere but at him. He leaned down and whispered "do you want me to touch you and make you commit Zina? Or do we have a deal?" I pulled away knowing this was haram. I didn't want to go against my religion, I just couldn't.

"Deal", I whispered.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that?" He said provoking me, I really wanted to punch his perfectly straight white teeth out of his mouth. But I couldn't, he had the upper hand right now.

"Deal" I said a little louder. And that's how it's been going this past 6 months. A game of cat and mouse, and I losing horrifically.

Ring. Ring. My phone yet again snapped me out of remembrance of the past. I looked at the screen and it read "Ismail", that kutta. I hated him but somehow he was everywhere, was always following me and wouldn't let me breathe. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, wishing Allah would give me strength to deal with this khota. I picked up his call and held the phone against my ear. "Where have you been? Why weren't YOU answering MY phone calls?" He screamed down the line.

"Just let me breath for once in a while. I'm not your property, your not my owner, your nothing to me so I don't have to answer your questions!" I screamed back.

He drops his voice "have you forgotten our deal? Cause I will do what I promised and i won't think twice."

Tears fell from my eyes. Why couldn't I win with him? Why did he always have a response to everything I say? Why do I always have something on the line? "I was at hospital, visiting my mum. I'm running late for my lesson and if I'm late they'll kick me out of college all together, so please just let me go?"

"Put me on Bluetooth and we can still talk." He said as I started my car.

"I don't have Bluetooth in my car." I replied.

"Stop lying. I know you do."

I clenched my jaw and fist I really wanted to throw him a punch if he was in front of me.

"Kutta" I said under my breath as I did as he said.

"I heard that," he replied.

"Heard what?" I replied innocently.

"Don't play games with me," he retorted.

"I'm not the one playing games, it's you. It was always you playing your dirty games making me feel as if I have to listen to you. And it's me who always falls for these traps. I was always the easy target for you, wasn't I?"

"This isn't a game, it's your life now. As soon as you sign those Nikah papers maybe just maybe I'll stop playing these games..." a minute of silence passes and then he speaks " I'll ring you later"

Huh. Usually he makes me talk to him until I enter my class. I wonder what happened today.

You should be glad. He's off your case today.

Oh how I was so wrong! His Range Rover was stood blocking the road when I turned the next corner and that was the only way to get to college in time for my lesson.

Whyyyyy??? Why was he here now? I've only got less than 10 minutes till my lesson. I'm definitely screwed.

He jumps out of his car and makes his way to my door. I get out of my car as he signals for me to get out of mine. "What do u want?"

And yet again, I was pinned to something. Why's he so obsessed with pinning me to things? Was it to show his strength? Cause I can see his biceps just fine through his tight shirt. Shit. I need to lower my gaze immediately. This was so not appropriate. Not now not ever.

"You need to stop disobeying me. Ok?" I didn't reply. "Ok?" He tightened his grip on my hands as if I'll give him the answer he wants - a yes- but not today.

"NO!" He was taken back by my response. "No. I will not listen to you. Cause you just don't get it do you? You've been scaring me for the past 6 months but alongside that you say love me. You're using my past mistakes against me, but you're calling yourself a man." Tears were threatening to fall. "My mum is in a critical condition yet you feel no sympathy and show no mercy to me. You are a selfish, arrogant and stupid idiot, Ismail Hussain." I spat.

" I'll make you mine even if it's the last thing I do." And with that he climbed into his car and sped off. I had hurt his man ego. But I couldn't give a flying crap. Why should I when he's caused me so many panic attacks, sleepless nights and suicidal thoughts. Why should I care when with every declaration of love he would hurt me even more?

******

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