Can't get you out of my Head

Ch.5 I Did Nothing to Stop Him

It was always me and my two brothers. My youngest brother was the vessel or the Jinchuriki, of the one-tailed beast. I was afraid of him and pitied him. If only I could have done something more for him, but for the longest it's been me and that dumbass I call a brother. And then Gaara came along and after we went for the Chunin Exam everything started to change. Gaara finally found himself and we became a real family.

It was a couple years after that, that me and Shikamaru started our relationship. At first it was great, lovey dovey, enjoying our time together. Then there was the fact we lived far away, his team and missions, the war and so on. Somewhere along the line the feelings faded, for him at least. I'm not as smart as him but I'm not dumb either. He was trying but it wasn't igniting anything for him.

Yet we still got married, we still had a child, even though I knew deep down that this would blow up in my face.

When did it start? I really wonder when I started to notice it. I'm pretty sure it was around three years ago. From what I can tell probably a year before he figured it out himself. He always talked about Naruto, it was subconscious and noticeable. Whenever he did there would be this spark in his eyes. This little shine that -I'm not gonna lie- really pissed me off.

I mean I do have every right to be, but I knew he still wouldn't act on it cause he new it would hurt Shikadai and me. Well that's what I thought and it's true, he lasted much longer then I thought he would. It's been a half a year since he started his affair. He tries to hide it but I've lived with him for many many years, I know. He still hangs out with Shikadai, not treating him any different. Making sure to play shogi with him or helping him train. He kept being apart of the family and not just ignoring us and distancing himself.

I was greatful that he didn't because to up and leave. I do wonder, when the time comes and he wants to tell me about this, how would I react. I think I'd be calm. And I also wondered what would happen after he tells me. Shikadai will he stay here? Will I go back to the Sand village? How will Shikadai keep his bond with Shikamaru?

I don't care about what people say and I know Shikadai won't let it get to him. Though it's still concerning.

Wow, I think too much. I mean it must be something I picked up from him.

I really loved him.

——————

The door opened and Temari could hear the distinct footsteps of her husband. At least it's distinct to her. She smiled and set down her knife and pushed the cutting board back.

"Your home early. Is there a special occasion I don't know about?" She said as she washed her hands not yet laying her eyes on her guilt felt husband. 

"No, there isn't a special occasion at least not in the sense of a good occasion." He said taking a seat on the dining table facing the chair towards her. Temari wiped her hands and turned around.

"What's wrong." That's what she asked but when Shikamaru looked at her expression he could tell that she already had a good idea.

"I don't know where to start."
"Maybe with a apology?" He looked up at her and she smiled.
"I am really sorry. I don't mean to do that neither did he."

Temari sighed and leaned against the counter. For some reason even though she knows and prepared herself for this, it still pegged at her heart. Starting to make her annoyed at just the thought.

"I wanna say it's fine and forgive you but it's not that easy." He nodded.
"I'm glad that I have the chance to talk to you and you can understand." For some reason his words make her mad. It's confusing.