Creative Writing Collection

H.E.A.V.E.N. University

       “… and that, class, is the equation as to how you’d find the amount of sin in a person,” the professor said, the sound of wings shuffling gently carrying throughout the classroom as student angels wrote the multiple variables down.

       “Now, your answer should be somewhere between 1224(pi)cos(30, but below 805(pi) — that’s your safety zone. If it’s below 805(pi), your human is oddly very kind and is living a perfect life. They are also our unicorns; they don’t exist.”

       A laugh rose in the large classroom.

       “If you find a unicorn, please nurture and bring it back safely here to be experimented on, so G.O.D can learn how to replicate it. If your number is above 805(pi), then we have a problem. This is where you intervene, give advice, and help in any way you can. Above 805(pi) is your danger zone; you want to be really careful in that sensitive area. As I said before, between 1224(pi)cos(30 and 805(pi) is your ideal, normal human zone.”

       The rise of harmonized voices filled the air, the students beginning to leave class for the next.

       “Don’t forget to turn in your Human Sin Studies tomorrow! Remember to do at least 7!”
       Clusters of student angels quickly made their way through the white hallways, carrying textbooks and notebooks as they went. Waves of murmurs rose and fell, then silence took over as the next class began.

       “Welcome to Speech and Tongue training, cupids! Now fly and gimmie twenty laps!”