Trepidation [Book 1]

Chapter 38: reunited again

Nine days have passed since we were back on that rooftop, smoking cigarettes and eating junk food, letting the time pass us by.

We had nearly stayed up there like the first night, but the snow soon started to fall again, and we didn't want to take the risk of getting ill.

We didn't go back to the apartment until late though. We drove around town, only getting out for a stroll around the park which wasn't needed, but Ethan suggested so. It was beautiful, the snow was catching on the bare branches of the trees. I felt like I was living in a movie, but the ugly feeling of my broken heart always brought me back to reality.

That was a whole nine days ago, it's finally the New Year.

Ethan and I celebrated the night our own way, we got a bottle of vodka and played drinking games to pass the time as we rang in the New Year. It was fun, but we hardly got drunk, just harmlessly tipsy.

That night was the first time since New York we kissed more than just in an affectionate, soft kind of way. That night we fell into a heated makeout session, so close to something sexual happening but with the alcohol and everything that's happened recently, Ethan respectfully stopped before it did.

I was disappointed but he never let that dull on me too long because he made the worst knock, knock joke I've ever heard, making me fall into laughter with him.

It's been fourteen days since I last saw my friends – it's been fourteen days yet it has felt like months have passed. Months since Ethan and I went to New York, but it's truly only been fourteen days.

I'm so glad to know we'll all be back today.

I know for sure that Lauren is here, she turned up last night and has even been shopping for the dorm, and it's honestly been killing me not to go see her, but everyone thinks I'm in New Haven so I simply haven't. I know if I did, I'd have to explain why I'm back early and I'm not prepared to lie further.

Felix has been sworn to secrecy, he knew before Ethan and I went to New York that I wasn't going home. He didn't question it, he never does and I'm so thankful.

It's hard to keep lying, but I know I couldn't just tell them all that I stayed with Ethan, my boyfriend who I weren't even with officially when he invited me, instead of a home that I've always loved going back to. It just wouldn't make sense, and I'm not ready to speak more on the matter as to why I didn't go home. Whatever home is anyway.

Felix has been amazing, he knows both Ethan and I struggled during the holiday, so he's been an extra pain in the ass to Ethan, and extra nice to me. I've loved it.

The plan was always for me to go back to the dorm, celebrate with my friends alone, but I wanted to bring Ethan with me, and there really was no question about it when I saw Felix was bored.

I was going to take my car, park it back up at the dorm for the rest of eternity, but as soon as we got in, Felix wouldn't stop complaining about how cold and small it is. So, that's how I'm driving us all back in Ethan's beautiful Mercedes.

I had to collect my tiny little car the other day in case anyone came back early as well as some extra clothes which explains why it was at Ethan's in the first place. I really love my car, but after driving Ethan's, it felt so weird.

"Felix, I'm on the verge of stopping and kicking you out." I bite back, my anger not at bay anymore.

"She's feisty." Felix says to Ethan, who only bites his lip to stop the laughter.

I don't know why he's so dedicated into pissing me off but it's working and I'm letting him get to me – it's the stupidest things too like calling me Chest which is his new favorite nickname for me. Ethan whacked him for that one, but now he's just letting it happen. I'm easily aggravated and I'm due on next week, so if I strangle him at one point, that's my excuse.