Burning desire

4 years ago (mackenzie)

Mack, 15/ Steven, 16

"Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought
That I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful don't you ever change
Hey stephen, while people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same
-hey Stephen (Taylor Swift)

I am in love with my best friend. One of my biggest fears have come true and I'm terrified. I've fallen for Steven. Despite all my efforts to not put myself in this position, it just happened and now I know I'll end up burned.

Ever since that day on the beach house when he comforted me and we woke up tangled up on each other on the couch, things have been-tense, weird. Like we don't know how to act around each other and I'm scared.

"Hey, calling Mackenzie back. Where are you???" Lisa starts joking. We are in my room doing mani Padis and gossiping.
"Sorry, I drifted. What were you saying?", I apologize
"I can see that", Lisa tells me laughing, "so-"

I'm gonna tell him today. I'll show him the song I wrote for him and see how he reacts, I won't get anywhere without taking a shot after all. Oh lord, I've drifted again. And Lisa is still talking.

"And then I told her 'stop being stupid, he's Mack's already'". Wait what?
"Wait what?", I ask out loud
"And you still didn't pay attention", she sighs, "I was telling you how Caroline was planning on asking Steven out but he's definitely into you and I don't get what is taking so long for both of you to be together already", Lisa says Roling her eyes as if we are both exhausting for her. She just said he liked me? Really?? Is it possible? Hope quickly flickers inside me.

"I like Steven", I blurt to Lisa. She ought to help me here, but all she does is look at me with a bored expression as if this isn't new.
"Hallelujah you finally figured it out, I was getting tired already", she puts her hands up as if thanking god.
"You think he likes me?", I ask ignoring all of the scene she is causing right now.
Her eyes go wide before answering me with a scowl, " If he likes you???? Girl, the boy is on his knees and you are literally the only one who can't see it.", am I that blind? Yes you are. Yes I am, thinking about that now, it explains his weird behavior around me and how mad he would get with all my dates. Suddenly everything makes sense. But why hasn't he told me? What if Lisa is wrong? I don't want to ruin our friendship.
I utter my concerns out loud to Lisa who looks at me with a sympathetic look. Big sister mode activated.
"He's just being a boy, Mack. Steven is too scared of being rejected by you, so he won't say anything until he is sure you like him back."
Ookaay. So I need to take the shot. Just the thought of telling him makes me sick.

"I'm scared Lisa", she just nods at me, understanding, before looking straight to my eye and telling me, "look, do you trust me?" I simply nod, of course I trust her. " so take the damn risk. I'm positive the boy is crazy about you.", she pauses, "but If I'm wrong, we can have fun throwing eggs at his house and watching "the vampire diaries" and "the notebook" with Ice cream all night long, deal?" She says before giving me her hand to seal the deal.
I smile and shake her hand, "deal. And thank you Lis, for being an amazing friend. I love you.", her eyes go glassy and she shakes her head at that. Lisa hates showing affection, but she gives me a genuine smile and mouths "I love you", " now, let's quit all of this sentimental crap. Show me the song", at that I go static.
" how do you know i wrote a song for him?", she scowls at me before answering in a conceited tone, "I know you better than anyone, Mackenzie sawyer Forbes", then she pauses and looks at the ceiling thinking, "well, not as better as Steven I guess."
At that I just shake my head and throw my pillow at her head before gathering my notebook to show her the lyrics.